Overseas English Teacher Finds A New Way To Be More Expressive and Dynamic

Written by Wesley Janson

Tuesday, 1 January 2019

image for Overseas English Teacher Finds A New Way To Be More Expressive and Dynamic

Bradley Johnston, 27, moved to Changwon City, South Korea, after earning his degree in Education. When he started teaching English, however, he began struggling to find ways to get his students more excited about the English language.

All too often, he found himself standing in front of a room full of blank and expressionless faces. Most of the students were very shy.

"I tried to get them to communicate with me, but no one would respond. They just stared at me as though I was from a different planet," he told reporters.

One day, Brad tried something different.

He thought to himself, "Hey Brad, if you want to get your students to respond to you, you need to show them more of your creative personality. You need to be more dynamic. Don't just rely on the textbook all the time."

He waited patiently for his chance to break away from using the standardized lessons, and finally, the blessed opportunity presented itself as he was teaching a unit on how to use more expressive language.

He gave his students the following examples:

For instance, instead of saying, "I WENT outside to catch the bus," one could say, "I DASHED outside to catch the bus," or "I RUSHED FRANTICALLY outside to catch the bus."

To use another example, instead of saying, "The teacher LOOKED at the misbehaving students," one could say, "The teacher GLANCED IMPATIENTLY at the misbehaving students," or "The teacher GLARED ANGRILY at the misbehaving students."

Eventually he came across the following sentence:

"I CRIED when I found out that my toy was broken."

At that point, he told himself, "Alright Brad, here is your chance to really shine. Here is your chance to break away from routine and show these students your creative side."

So, he decided to take that particular example and go the extra mile to get his students to liven up.

With all the creative energy he could muster, he told the class that instead of saying, "I CRIED when I found out that my toy was broken," one could say, "I WEPT LOUDLY when I found out that my toy was broken," or even, "I SOBBED ENDLESSLY when I found out that my toy was broken."

With his students still not responding at that point, he became angry and bellowed:

"I SCREAMED AND HOLLERED BITTERLY, AND MANY HIDEOUS NOISES DID I UTTER WHILE CURSING THE HEAVENS ABOVE AS SALTY TEARS OF INTENSE AGONY AND PIERCING SORROW SPEWED FORTH UNCONTROLLABLY FROM MY BLOODSHOT EYES, FORMING A MASSIVE WATERFALL OF PROFOUND SADNESS THAT POURED RAPIDLY AND RELENTLESSLY UPON THE FLOOR BELOW ME WITH SUCH MAGNITUDE AND FORCE THAT IT CREATED AN ENDLESS RIVER OF GRIEF AND CRUSHING DESPAIR…AND WITH MY OVERWHELMING CONTEMPT FOR ALL OF EXISTENCE, I HURLED MYSELF VIOLENTLY AGAINST A WALL AND FELL HELPLESSLY TO THE FLOOR, YES, THE VERY FLOOR THAT WAS SOAKED WITH MY OWN WRETCHED AND ETERNAL WEEPING, AS TREMENDOUS GOBS OF SNOT ROLLED OUT OF MY NOSE AND FORMED A DISGUSTING PUDDLE OF MUCUS AND TEARS AROUND MY HEAD, CREATING A REPULSIVE STICKY MIXTURE THAT CAUSED MY HEAD TO BECOME PERMANENTLY STUCK TO THE FLOOR…AND WITH MY LAST OUNCE OF STRENGTH AND CONSCIOUSNESS, I DAMNED MY BITTER AND ROTTEN FATE…when I found out that my toy was broken."

For some odd reason, Brad's teaching strategy didn't work, and his students stopped coming to class after that.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more