Australia-Bound! Shamima Begum To Be Sent To Penal Colony
Shamima Begum, the British girl who went to Syria to join the Islamic State terrorist group when she was 15, but who then decided she'd had enough of playing soldiers, and wanted to return to Britain, is to be sent to Australia in penal servitude.
Read full storyBrooklyn Man Confused When Random Girl Tries to Break Up with Him
Josh Adams of Brooklyn, New York, was confused when a random girl, whom he'd hung out with maybe a dozen times over the course of a few months, told him that she needed to break up with him. "She caught me totally off guard," said Josh of the gir...
Read full storyHeavily Pregnant Meghan ‘Should Be Allowed To Return To UK’
New York, NYC - (ReUterus): “A lot of people should have sympathy for me,” Meghan said today during a NYC self-publicity trip as pals claimed she was being ‘treated worse than the Nazis’ in charge of Buckingham Palace. Billed as a golden showers...
Read full storyOzzie Osbourne Has Got A Frog In His Throat
Former Black Sabbath frontman, Ozzie Osbourne, has had to cancel a tour of Australia, New Zealand and Japan, after complications he experienced whilst trying to swallow a frog. Osbourne, 70, achieved notoriety in 1981, when he bit the head off a d...
Read full storyMexican Border Wall Idea Has Been Scrapped In Favor Of Force Field
The Mexican border is in the news a lot these days, and this looks set to continue for a while, after it was revealed by White House officials earlier today, that the idea of a 'physical' barrier has been scrapped, in favor of a 'non-physical', unobt...
Read full storyEx-Pat teeny Brit demanding re-entry to UK, if not, 'heads will roll!'
A longer than planned holiday in sunny Syria, which turned into 'matrimonial heaven', went pear-shaped after a teeny Brit girl fell head (he still had one) over heels in love with a Syrian Romeo and now she is demanding to be repatriated. UK immig...
Read full storyMan Was Scared Shitless Five Times In As Many Minutes!
A man who is of a nervous disposition revealed how he was pushed to his 'very limits' last night, when, sitting watching the television, he was startled five times within five minutes. John Perkins, 57, told of how he was quietly viewing the lates...
Read full storyLooking for input on credibility crisis Trump ends up in dark alley with ladies of the evening
Following tight-lipped, blank denials from White House staff, details are finally emerging on Mr. Trump’s recent trials with his credibility rating. According to polls, the President’s popularity is sliding at 53% disapproval, with credibility a m...
Read full storyKamala-Breath Harris Throws Hump Into The Tent
BILLINGSGATE POST: California Senator Kamala Harris, nicknamed Kamala-Breath because she humped former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown years ago, announced today that she is joining Pocahontas, Spartacus and a few dozen other Socialists as a candi...
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