
Director Clint Eastwood Blames Empty Chair for “Richard Jewell” Movie Flop
Hollywood - Famed Trumpist director, Clint Eastwood, whose latest film in a string of disappointing efforts, "Richard Jewell", has grossed less than 10 million dollars in three weeks of release, said he would have discussions with his director's chai...
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Hymen Clit Selected As 'Employee Of The Month' For December At Pete's Wood Company In Minnesota
We would like to take a special moment this month to shine the employee spotlight on our new Production Custodian, Mr. Hymen Clit. Mr. Clit has served as our janitor for the past several months here at Pete's Wood, a lumber furniture factory that ut...
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Santa Putin
Sung by Donald Trump, in his negligee. Santa Putin, just slip some oppo on Joe Biden, For me. Been a really useful tool, Santa Putin, So hurry down my chimney tonight. Santa Putin, the 2020 election too, For my coup. I'll wait up for you d...
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Man cannot remember half of the people he is sending Christmas E cards to
Stan Bridgewater, a 28-year-old from Mithering on the Trent has revealed that he cannot remember half of the people he is sending Christmas E-Cards to. 'In the old days' said the Millenial, who was not even born until 1991 'You sent a Christmas ca...
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Nashville Man Strongly Cautions Friend Against Suicide
When a down-in-the-dumps friend confided that he was considering taking his own life, Caleb Higgins of Nashville, Tennessee, strongly cautioned his friend against committing suicide. "I totally get the appeal, but it's really not all it's cracked...
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Jacob Rees-Mogg to spend 12th Xmas in succession trying to get lid off chutney jar
Leader of the House of Commons, Jacob Rees-Mogg, is set to spend his 12th successive Christmas struggling to get the lid off a jar of chilli and onion chutney that his wife bought in 2006, to go with the cold meat and mashed potatoes on Boxing Day.
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Boy Fell Into Patch Of Nettles
A boy who was playing in a back tenfoot with his friends back in 1970, has related, years later, how, whilst sitting precariously on a neighbour's fence, he fell off it, and into a rather large patch of nettles, which stung like fuck. Wearing only...
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Assange removal program fully explained
There ARE laws against many actions, which citizens here and there around the world may be unaware of. *If a company leaves its manual for how to create a product lying around on the sidewalk, you must not pick it up and sell it to one of that com...
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