
The 'Teflon Don' Gang Bunkers Down In The Washington Senate Building
A creepy figure creeps along the side of the long, white stone building, avoiding the lights, embracing the shadows. He was searching for the secret entrance his co-conspirators had informed him of. Finally locating it he carefully, quietly pulled it...
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Michael Gove improving his tea making skills
Following a landslide victory in the 2019 elections, a lot of conservative members are finding that there have been massive changes in their lives and their jobs. In order to remain competitive, Michael Gove has been taking lessons in tea-making f...
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Man kicked of the council for spending the biscuit budget
Brian Asshat, an independent candidate on Chutney on the Fritz's council, has been sacked due to irregularities in the accounts. The never-popular trainspotter and wearer of woollen waistcoasts has spent the biscuit budget on more expensive biscui...
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Joe Rogan Secretly Yearns to Go Vegan but Fears Alienating Fans
Sources report that comic and podcast show host Joe Ragan, known for his protein-pounding, bow-hunting ways, secretly yearns to go vegan, but fears alienating his meathead fans. "It's not just a marketing thing," said one inside source. "He's gen...
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Twelve Days of Impeachment
Washington, D.C. - After a marathon Thursday session of the U.S. House Representatives Judiciary Committee, known as the Impeachment Markup Hearing, a vote on two articles of impeachment against President Donald Trump was postponed until Friday morni...
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Man Didn't Vote In Election
A man has revealed how he decided not to seize the opportunity of casting his vote in the UK General Election yesterday, and went to work instead. Myke Woodson told friends that he really couldn't care less what happened in the election, and hoped...
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Full General Election Results To Be Withheld Until Tampering Process Has Been Completed
The results of the General Election are in, it's been reported, but they will not be made freely available to the general public until after the complex 'adjustment process' has been completed, probably later today. Unofficial sources have specula...
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An O. Henry Christmas Spoof: The Madge I.'s Gift
"One hundred thousand, eight hundred sixty-three dollars and fifty-two cents! Is that all?" Madge I. Young - she always insisted on using her middle initial - scowled as she read the numbers on her bank statement. She hadn't looked at one in weeks...
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Fake Orgasm Of Love Birds Costs Trump Votes Of Suburban Housewives
BILLINGSGATE POST: Suburban housewives who systematically cheat on their husbands have indicated that they will not vote for Trump in the coming election. Twice, in different speeches, Trump has made fun of the love affair between two highly-positio...
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