Man kicked of the council for spending the biscuit budget

Written by Ben Macnair

Friday, 13 December 2019

image for Man kicked of the council for spending the biscuit budget
There will always be biscuits in my barrel

Brian Asshat, an independent candidate on Chutney on the Fritz's council, has been sacked due to irregularities in the accounts.

The never-popular trainspotter and wearer of woollen waistcoasts has spent the biscuit budget on more expensive biscuits than the council have been used to.

A council spokesman said 'In these times of austerity, it is important that all budgets are kept to, and that includes biscuit budgets. We have a lot of meetings in the council. We even have meetings to discuss having meetings, so we get through a lot of biscuits. I don't know what Brian was thinking, but buying biscuits from Waitrose, rather than Aldi, means that he has spent the budget until 2026. We are many things on the Chutney on the Fritz council, but savages we are not, but we will be savages if we cannot even offer a chocolate Bourbon or a pink wafer'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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