USA Today Unveils New “Fact-Free USA Today”
MCLEAN, VIRGINIA – The national newspaper USA Today shocked the world on October 10, 2018, when it debuted its new “Fact-Free USA Today” format. President Donald Trump's op-ed, which claimed that the Democratic Party wanted to gut Medicare and use...
Read full storyTear Down The Fence! Trump Sez He Will Build A Moat Instead
BILLINGSGATE POST: President Trump told a hushed audience in Iowa last night, that trying to keep out the hordes of illegals from entering the US by building a fence has failed miserably. Arguing that it is a waste of money to continue this mission...
Read full storyFBI-Russian Collusion: When The Twilight Is Gone And No Songbirds Are Singing
BILLINGSGATE POST: It was just another stinking night under the stars for Slim Everdingle and his faithless comrade, Detrick "Dirty Trick" Detwiler.. The cicadas were listless and in a foul mood because the Dutch Elm disease had beaten them to the...
Read full storyClimate change "will not affect Scotland"
Scotland is known for its dark winters, cool summers and a constant drizzle which ensures that nobody in the country has ever tasted a dry chip. In the UN's latest climate change report, it predicts that nothing will change. The report says that a...
Read full storyTrump dismissals becoming chronic
Ever more staff are leaving the White House as Donald Trump's zealous bid to have the building to himself takes form. Head cook Chuck Tate was fired this week for cheating at Whist. "I swear I played the Queen", he mumbled as he piled his belongin...
Read full storyBill Cosby Unveils His Jailbird Jazz Sextet
If you hear some coolnotes coming at you in the vicinity of the Pennsylvania State Correctional Institution Phoenix, it's probably the supercool and sexy, funky jazz sound of the Jailbird Jazz Sextet, the brainchild of jailed former comedian, Bill Co...
Read full storyJudge Kavanaugh Is Going Out For Drinks On Friday Night, Women Warned
Newly-confirmed US Supreme Court judge, Brett Kavanaugh, is to meet with friends 'for a few drinks' on Friday evening, and women have been warned to keep their distance. Judge Kavanaugh, who was cleared by a select committee of any sexual wrongdoi...
Read full storyCollege Faculty Walk-out Becomes Epic Fail!
A recent adjunct faculty walkout at Eastern Omaha Community College abruptly ended today beneath a burning Nebraska sun. For the past week, 273 adjunct (part-time) faculty had been marching back and forth between the parking lot and administration bu...
Read full storyJudge Kavanaugh Presses Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start, Gets 30 Lives
WASHINGTON D.C. - In a shocking development, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh plugged an NES controller into his gavel and entered the infamous "Konami code" (Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start), granting him a grand total...
Read full storyPresident Trump To Change The Ending Of 'In The Heat Of The Night' (1967)
In the latest of a series of ultraradical Right-leaning decisions, US President Donald Trump has decided to change the ending of the highly-influential 1967 Norman Jewison movie, 'In The Heat Of The Night'. The movie starring Rod Steiger and Sidne...
Read full storyNikki Haley 'Resigns' Over The Lack Of A Third 'K' In Name
Nikki Haley, the United States Ambassador to the United Nations, has 'resigned' from the position, but rumors are rife that she was forced to do so by the Trump administration, because of the lack of a third letter 'k' in her first name. Haley - w...
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