Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Wednesday, 10 October 2018

image for FBI-Russian Collusion: When The Twilight Is Gone And No Songbirds Are Singing
Bird's Not Singing

BILLINGSGATE POST: It was just another stinking night under the stars for Slim Everdingle and his faithless comrade, Detrick "Dirty Trick" Detwiler.. The cicadas were listless and in a foul mood because the Dutch Elm disease had beaten them to the punch. Their usual feast of succulent American Elm leaves had been taken off the menu by the disease that had wiped out the foliage on most of these once verdant trees common to the Georgetown area of Washington.

Unable to find suitable clandestine cover for their 1951 Studebaker Champion which they called home, they parked under a street light that Dirty had taken out with one shot from his 12-gauge Remington 870 shotgun, dimming it forever as the once proud globe lie shattered on the darkened street below. Dirty, quite proud of his marksmanship, broke the silence of the night with his own rendition of The Platter's 1956 hit song, "My Prayer."

"When the twilight is gone and no songbirds are singing...."

Everdingle, who maintained a certain ambivalence regarding Dirty's penchant for wearing pantsuits, mostly because he despised Hillary, was wearing his government-issued, white tee-shirt and Dickies Short Sleeve Mechanic Coveralls that provided a generous fit in the shoulders and chest. With its bi-swing back and elastic waist inserts, it allowed Slim classic comfort and room to scratch his nuts during long stake-outs that were part of his job.

"Awe, for Christ's sake, will you stop singing that song?"

"Hey, asshole, the twilight is gone and you don't hear no fucking songbirds singing, do ya?"

"Not yet, Slim. But one of those bastards is gonna turn on the other. Just wait and see."

"You be talking about Comey and Mueller?"

"Look at them silly douche bags. They're arguing about which one of them looks better. Can you imagine grown men discussing whether a violet flamenco dress with a feathered boa looks more feminine than a ruffled tulle with satin shrugs?"

"Give me a f..king break!"

"Dirty, let's call it a night. The twilight is gone and no songbirds are singing."

"Roger and out, Slim."

NOTE: This is Part 6 of the FBI-Russian Collusion series.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
38 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more