Elephant in the room sighs and relieves itself over wide expanses in the news studio
Mr. Trump’s Tuesday morning response on the murder of Jamal Khashoggi has led to a special interview in Downtown Brown Studios, key rival to CNN. Downtown Brown’s news anchor Sterling Ballsworthy immediately confirmed the President’s position that...
Read full storyMickey Mouse Is 90 Years Old!
And there's a big party in the works. All the main Disney characters will be there, including Goofy and Pluto. Lawrence Welk, Mickey's favorite bandleader, has gotten a one-evening earthpass to return from the dead and provide his champagne mu...
Read full storyHeat Waves are Caused by Mismanagement of Sun, Confirms White House
After solving the mystery of why forest fires happen, the US administration has yet to share its views on the causes of heat waves. The statement hasn’t been issued yet, but we wanted to hear what the officials had to say. An anonymous employee of...
Read full storyPolice Apologise for "Upsetting" Description of Man's Genitals
North Yorkshire Police have apologised for providing "too much detail" in a description of a man who performed a sex act in front of a woman in York. The force had said it was looking for a "fat, naked man" and described his sexual organs explicitly...
Read full storyM&S Nottingham Knickers Display Not 'Vomit Inducing'
Militant feminists have described an M&S window display in Nottingham which suggests that women must have "fancy little knickers" as sexist and "vomit-inducing". On the other hand, a display aimed at men suggests that they should have "outfits to...
Read full storyTrump Offers Time-Saving Advice
After claiming that California forest rangers didn't rake the leaves on the forest floor well enough top prevent massive fires in multiple locations, like they supposedly do in Norway, President Trump has offered up additional helpful hints to make t...
Read full storyAnne Hegerty Is The Spitting Image Of The Governess From 'The Chase'
Viewers of ITV's 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here' were jamming the broadcaster's switchboard last night after becoming emotional over the heartwarming performance of a contestant named Anne Hegerty who, unfortunately, said the viewers, was also t...
Read full story"Brexit Dividend" Souvenir Shops To Open in Channel Ports - A Spoof Exclusive
Secret plans have been seen by The Spoof which show how Brexit cheerleaders are planning to make vast profits from Brexit while ordinary British citizens will suffer the consequences. An offshore company by the name of Brexshit Haha based in the B...
Read full storyFootball Gossip: Newcastle, Southgate, Cambridge Utd Women "It Was Too Small", Mourinho Relief
According to England Manager Gareth Southgate after Sunday's win against Croatia, Harry Kane "is the best goal scorer in the world. If only he could do it when it really matters". Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley has sanctioned funds for the Mag...
Read full storyScientific Community Makes One Last Attempt to Cure Trump
Science Town, USA Scientists gathered together today, a much smaller crew than the ones who originally gathered a year and 8 months ago met and discussed ways to cure narcissism. "If anything, he's gotten worse. He actually thinks his kids, especi...
Read full storyLGBT Union To Organize Strikes If Employers Don't Do Exactly As It Says
The LGBTU, the union for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender people, has said that it will organize industrial action if employers from non-LGBTQI backgrounds don't do exactly as the LGBTU commands. And they're not messing about! The LGBTU says it...
Read full story"Lock Her Up!" Ivanka used Private Email for Government Business
Capitol Hill. A search of government department email received during 2017 has revealed that Ivanka Trump used a private email account to send hundreds of messages in which official White House business was discussed with various assistants, governme...
Read full storyPlot To Khashoggi CNN’s Jim Acosta Disrupted By Slim Everdingle And Dirty Trick
BILLINGSGATE POST: What could go wrong? Fifteen Saudis, inconspicuously dressed in white dishdashas and sporting keffiyehs, disembarked from a private jet which flew in and landed under the radar at a little used landing strip on the Eastern Shore...
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