Russian Hooker Regrets Peeing On Obama Bed
BILLINGSGATE POST: Finally finding religion after turning tricks for the past seven years, Irena Klavisvoka says that she now regrets peeing on the bed once slept in by Barack and Michelle Obama. “We were just romping around like school girls, an...
Read full storyGrenfell Tower Tribute Destroyed
A man who spent 9 months completing a model of the Grenfell Tower in a tribute to its victims is said to be devastated after it was destroyed whilst being displayed in a London Art Studio. The Tower Tribute, which stood at 2ft 4" high was painsta...
Read full storyMelania Trump in for Repairs
An aide of President Donald Trump, (Potus - hippopotamus abbreviated), has mistakenly revealed that his wife, Melania is "in for repairs". Melania Trump has not appeared in public for 24 days and it has now been announced she will not be accompany...
Read full storyVicar's Wife Startled by Garden Drone
In a disturbing start to an idyllic Sunday Morning, a vicars wife in Chilenden, Kent, was startled by a drone in her garden. Mrs Fortunata Renwhite described the drone as small, "whiny" and black with three legs like that bloke from number seven.
Read full storySarah Huckabee Sander's Face Abandons the Trump Administration
A visibly shaken Sarah Sanders stood before the White House Press Corps this morning. “It is with a great sense of sadness, I announce today that my face will be leaving the Trump administration. Over the past several months I noticed that my fac...
Read full storyNutters Beach Club presents FRED! No not that Brazilian wannabe, the real thing, Mr.Astaire! It's total MADNESS!
Dag negen/dia neuve, and our Monday morning hangover after a totally nutty weekend is proof that The Nutters Beach Club is the greatest insane club on the planet, not Trump's, now where's my hangover cure?? Last nights entertainment ended with a fucking BIG BANG! No it wasn't a Guatemalan volcano erupting either! We were infiltrated by the FBI! Yes, one of Edger Hoover's men attempted to create...
Read full storyNevada Brothels to Offer 50% Discount to Incels
Young "incel" men, bitter and disillusioned by the discovery that they "can't get laid in a whorehouse", will soon be able to get laid for half price at any whorehouse in the state of Nevada, beginning this August. "We're doing this as a public se...
Read full storyGovernor Moonbeam "Offended" (Again)
SACKRAHMINTO, CALIFORNICATE — The not-so-great state of Californicate banned its residents from traveling to Oklahoma because officials do not approve of the OK State's allegedly discriminatory law against LesbianGayBisexualTransgenderQuestioning (LG...
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