Written by Jaggedone

Monday, 4 June 2018

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Dag negen/dia neuve, and our Monday morning hangover after a totally nutty weekend is proof that The Nutters Beach Club is the greatest insane club on the planet, not Trump's, now where's my hangover cure??

Last nights entertainment ended with a fucking BIG BANG! No it wasn't a Guatemalan volcano erupting either! We were infiltrated by the FBI! Yes, one of Edger Hoover's men attempted to create a vacuum by dancing incognito to Volga Olga's naked version, dressed only in a Top Hat, of Fred Astaire's,

Luckily the FBI agent exposed himself whilst attempting to tap dance off the walls and ceiling after drinking 10 of, Don, Tom Cruise lookalike, Loren Hugh's, deadly cocktails, a Tequila Bullet in the head. He dropped his gun on the floor and the bullet nearly took Sir Francis's deaf dumb and blind parrot's head off, luckily he ducked and the thing hit Lemmi's fav slot machine and Sir Francis hit the Nutters jackpot!

The FBI agent brought the house down and was later devoured by Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) special unit of SAS roaches trained to eat anything filthy in their path!

So lovely people, WAN-KIN-DIK, has just put my hangover special on the table, rat tail soup (veggie style), and I'll see you all tomorrow with more unbelievable excitement from the club floor!!

Adios amigos/amigas!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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