Nevada Brothels to Offer 50% Discount to Incels

Written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw

Monday, 4 June 2018

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The things I do for money!

Young "incel" men, bitter and disillusioned by the discovery that they "can't get laid in a whorehouse", will soon be able to get laid for half price at any whorehouse in the state of Nevada, beginning this August.

"We're doing this as a public service", said one brothel owner. "Most of our girls are demanding a premium before they let any of these 'Involuntarily Celibate' twits come anywhere near their twats, so we don't expect to make a lot of money off of this initiative."

Brothel operators in Amsterdam are considering a similar offer, but only if U.S. Republicans, or some other members of the "Moral Majority", offer to compensate their businesses for lost revenues. "After all", opined one Madam, "they created the problem! And they want us to help solve it?"

"Then again", she continued, "America's religious right is already spending a fortune on hookers..."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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