Trump Orders That All Separated Children Have Gums Painted Purple
BILLINGSGATE POST: Ominously, the sky was much darker than usual over the White House, possibly because it was 4:00 AM Tuesday morning. The President, his mood even blacker than the sky, had been up all night. Angry that he had been blistered by R...
Read full storyTrump to Dam Golden Gate?
In what some Democrats see as a stunning reversal of his denial of global warming, President Donald Trump today announced the largest public works project in American history. If funding is approved by his Republican congress, work could start next y...
Read full storyWhite House advertising for singers, dancers and choreographers for fall season!
At a press briefing this morning, Sara Huckabee Sanders announced that the White House is advertising for the new fall season. Journalists were totally taken by surprise when she stated that President Trump was looking for singers, dancers, choreogra...
Read full storyNutters beach club bans white sugar! Dia veintetres / Dag tweeëntwintig!
To make life sweet for our multi-colored followers, and fans, we have banned a certain type of "White Sugar" who makes your teeth rot whilst looking at him and, who feels it necessary to TWEET, and Blow his obnoxious TRUMP-ET just like another obnoxious freak of the human race... Let it be known, we might be fucking mad here, but we will not tolerate any form of discrimination or racism in our...
Read full storySting Stung By Wasp
Aging crooner, Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner CBE - collectively known as 'Sting' - has been stung by a wasp in his back garden. The former policeman from Wallsend who now owns a huge estate in Wiltshire, was shovelling some manure onto a rosebed on...
Read full storyLongest Day Over
The longest day - the day when there is more daylight than any other day in the year - is over! The longest day always falls between 20 and 22 June, and this year it is on Thursday 21 June. However, as this story has probably been waiting in 'Appr...
Read full storyTrump Revokes Pilgrim Fathers' Citizenship
In an entirely unexpected executive order today, US President and so-called leader of the free world, Donald J. Trump revoked the US citizenship and confiscated passports from the Pilgrim Fathers and their descendants, thus rendering them stateless.
Read full storyStudents As Uninterested As Teacher Was, In Pointless Project
A Science project at a school in Bangkok attracted about as much interest from students as it did from their foreign teacher - that is, none. The children, all aged around 11, were required by the school authorities to participate in the project t...
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