Written by Paxton Quigley

Thursday, 21 June 2018

image for Trump Revokes Pilgrim Fathers' Citizenship
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In an entirely unexpected executive order today, US President and so-called leader of the free world, Donald J. Trump revoked the US citizenship and confiscated passports from the Pilgrim Fathers and their descendants, thus rendering them stateless. In one of his early morning rants on Twitter the Trump chump justified the decision as only he can do:

These people came too our beloved country when we had weekest and WORST immigration laws anywhere in the world. They were UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRENT VERMIN. SAD!

William Brewster aged 452 voiced his displeasure.

"I came here with my flock to build a future for our families and offspring. We suffered trials, tribulations and even death to make our homes here. Yes, we didn't formalise our immigration status as we didn't think we had to. Now this half German-Scottish nouveau riche Johnny-come-lately with his penchant for eastern European floozies and porn stars says we aren't wanted.

"President Trump, be warned we will take our case to the UN Human Rights Council....What do you mean he's withdrawn from it? Trump, you bastard."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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