Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 21 June 2018

image for Longest Day Over
Is it trying to tell us something? Probably not

The longest day - the day when there is more daylight than any other day in the year - is over!

The longest day always falls between 20 and 22 June, and this year it is on Thursday 21 June. However, as this story has probably been waiting in 'Approvals' for some considerable time, and you are most likely reading it on 22, 23 or even 24 June, it's already too late for you to do anything about it. Not that you would have done anything about it, anyway, but I'm just saying.

The longest day is also known as the Summer Solstice, for a reason which is something to do with the tilt of the Earth, but I'm not sure what.

If you're in England, the longest day is the time to head for Stonehenge. There is a collection of large stones slung together in an odd sort-of circular arrangement, which some people think has a secretive message about our ancient ancestors. If it has, it's not giving it up easily!

Many people go to Stonehenge to worship ancient pagan gods. These people are pagans. They gather at Stonehenge on the longest day, take all of their clothes off, and slaughter a goat. If there are no goats available, they slaughter a a toad, or whatever else they can lay their hands on. Then they chant something, and finally they go home. It's all a bit backward if you ask me, but you never know.

If you want to go to Stonehenge, go there at a different time of the year, when it's quiet. That way, you won't have to put up with the pagans.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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