Angry China labels Canada "Numbah Wan Enema"
Beijing Daily news conference: Chinese Party puppet spokesperson Hu Flung Dung - a recent graduate of the North Korean school of Diplomatic Barking and Frothing at the mouth - shouted at reporters gathered for an update on the Canadian hostage...
Read full storySanta May Just Kill Us All
Paris -- During the latest Paris Climate Accord convention, few countries escaped the scathing criticism of environmentalists seeking to quell the effect fossil fuels are having on Earth's climate, but one continent in particular -- the North Pole --...
Read full storyNew "MiB" Film Set to Break Box-office With Cutting-Edge Tech
Columbia Pictures and Amblin Entertainment are banking on a new, controversial technology for their latest film release, Men in Black: International. The much-anticipated fourth installment in the blockbuster franchise features a fresh A-list cast,...
Read full storyTrump consulting on who to appoint acting president while he takes a break
According to Acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney, the list for who will become Acting President (APOTUS) is being carefully studied. Acting Secretary of Defense Patrick Shanahan is also being called in as advisor for the process. Mr. Trump has...
Read full storySanta Claus Implicated In Drone Row
Santa Claus and his reindeers are the latest suspects in the Gatwick Airport Drone Row that threatens to drag on and on and on and on and on, simply because the inept British police force haven't got a clue as to how to root out the amateur flyers re...
Read full storyMan Sucked Inside Hadron Collider
There's been a disaster at the site of the Large Hadron Collider facility near Geneva, Switzerland, after a man who was on duty there fell asleep, and was sucked inside the machine. The LHC went live in 2008 to try to accelerate particles in order...
Read full storyBill Cosby Is Santa Claus As Christmas Pantomime Season Gets Going
Former US comedian, Bill Cosby, now incarcerated for between 3 and 10 years for rape, has been getting into the Christmas spirit behind bars, and earlier today visited fellow inmates in their cells, dressed as Santa Claus. As the pantomime season...
Read full storyFormer Teacher Waves Goodbye To The System of Education And Considers Brilliance of H.G. Well's Novel
Midwest. With the "Me Too" Era going on and the "Self-Entitlement" Generation on the rise, 39-year-old Robert Jacobs abandoned his career in teaching completely, started drinking more heavily, and considered the brilliance of H.G. Wells' novel, The...
Read full storySanta Claus Hates Mince Pies
On the eve of the most widely-celebrated Christian festival of the year, the main focal point of the event, Santa Claus, has spoken out about one of the things he hates most about it - mince pies. Parents of young children everywhere have, down th...
Read full storyNew Video Game For 'Nervous' College Graduates To Be Released After The Holiday Season
KANOMI, in combination with CAPCOM, has designed a new video game for extremely nervous, burned-out, college students who will be approaching Graduation in the Spring Semester of 2019. The game is a side-scroller in which you walk cautiously dow...
Read full storyGlobus militaris interruptus wreaks tsunami-like havoc in Washington
President Trump’s decision to withdraw from Syria and drawdown in Afghanistan, has the nation’s capitol in a near state of paralysis. Even FOX News has turned on the President with accusations he is “refounding ISIS.” A hullabaloo of protest ha...
Read full storyMan Watched 'Das Boot', And Felt As If He Were Suffocating
A man who watched a movie about a World War II submarine and its crew, has revealed how he started to feel claustraphobic, and had trouble breathing, at certain points in the film. Moys Kenwood, 55, purchased a 2-DVD copy of Wolfgang Petersen's cl...
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