Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 24 December 2018

image for Santa Claus Implicated In Drone Row
Was this the Gatwick drone?

Santa Claus and his reindeers are the latest suspects in the Gatwick Airport Drone Row that threatens to drag on and on and on and on and on, simply because the inept British police force haven't got a clue as to how to root out the amateur flyers responsible.

Although the drone at the airport was sighted last week, and Santa is still snugly tucked up in bed at his Lapland grotto, the authorities, who don't know their arses from their elbows, are keen to avoid looking idle by shunting the blame somewhere else, regardless of how ridiculous their suggestions might be.

So, when an unidentified flying object at an airport needed pigeon-holing, and with Christmas on everyone's minds, the most natural thing in the world - it seemed, to the police - was to put Santa's name squarely in the frame.

Police the length and breadth of Britain are on the lookout for Santa Claus and his reindeer tonight, and have warned the public not to approach him, even with a sprig of mistletoe.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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