Pre Tour de France Stages to feature stabilisers
Top World Cyclists are, incredibly, to use bikes with stabilisers.. Stabilisers are a device associated with small children learning to balance on a two-wheeler. Sir Bradley Wigan, Tour De France Champion, says the move is 'the business' in tha...
Read full storyHellfire Bank hid millions for arms dealers, drug traffickers and Z-Lister celebs
Switzerland - Hellfire Bank's Gnomes of Zurich subsidiary hid billions of $$$ for drug lords, arms dealers and Z-Lister royals according to a new report. Celeb non-entities laundered their coke-dealing squillions via the Swiss bank's private arm i...
Read full story'Fifty Shades of Grime' makes record sales
A new light fiction novel is going like hot - cakes World - wide, with record Translation Sales in Switzerland. The novel presents sexy , middle - aged people's bedroom romps and their household cleaning habits. The Protagonist, Felicity , is a...
Read full storyThe Onion says The Spoof Has Jerkoff Editors, who knew?
Moishe Pipick editor in chief for The Onion told Vanity Fair in an interview today: "If you look at the quality of coruscating satiric humor on The Spoof it's like a parody of fake news itself!" He said; 'they have some terrific writers and we have hired some recently like David Nelson and they all basically say the same thing -'The best stuff is left on the cutting room floor because their...
Read full storyFascism... Communism... What's the Diff?
The following is taken verbatim from the George. W. Bush Institute's website (www.bushcenter.org). It's avowed aim is to spread the growth of what it calls 'freedom' around the world. In other words, the world belongs exclusively to America and no country can imagine it has the right to govern itself or think to escape its all-controlling hegemony. Of North Korea it says.... "More than 24 mi...
Read full storyStraw houses on sale in the UK - oink, oink!
Star schwein CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporter, Porky Pigsliver-Fonteroy the Vth, has just sent this amazing report to piggies HQ. Houses made of straw are going on sale in the UK and first time buyers, The Three Piggies, were first to or...
Read full storyBeck Concedes Grammy to Beyonce: Says his Talent with Real Instruments Can't Compete with her Production Value
Famous musician and cultural icon Beck Hansen, better known by his stage name Beck, has decided to forfeit his recently earned Grammy for Album of the Year to pop sensation Beyoncé. This startling development came just hours after receiving the award...
Read full storyThis Country's Gone to the Dogs Innit?
We have lost our bloody way as a nation we have. Our country has become infiltrated by joyless snobbish lefties, filthy immigrants, rampant homosexuals who are up for anything and miserable and fat feminists. What happened to the good old days innit? The good old days of Only Fools and Horses, Rolf Harris, Rod Stewart, The National Front, It It Ain't Half Hot Mum, New Faces, Jim'll Fix It, Dav...
Read full storyThe EDL: Even Less Anti-Muslim Than You May Have Thought
A while ago, East End Pride was cancelled over alleged links to the English Defence League. But since then, in a period where hostility towards Muslims has been a significant problem, the EDL bigots have gone to great lengths to "prove" they are not...
Read full storyRussell Brand's Democratic Lottery
Russell Brand is sick of the lottery being run purely by poncey squares, greedy plums and corrupt geezers, who cruelly and arbitrarily force people against their will to choose random numbers... In the vain hope that just on this one single, solit...
Read full storyGeneral Election Red Herring: Piers Morgan Wins Alex Salmond Nationalism Award
Piers Morgan is not only one of the UK's most lovable and highly respected journalists; he has now been given an award from Alex Salmond for his sterling contributions to the Scottish Nationalist cause. Salmond groans: "Personally, when I say...
Read full storyMind Over Money: Ed Balls Solves the Budget Crisis
Ed Balls has been finding it difficult to come up with a suitable infallible authority to point the way forward for Labour's next election. Yup! He tells us that Marx and Engels are, well, a bit old hat, Stalin a bit nasty, and as for Trotsky, we...
Read full storyKansas Fried Chicken Staff Deny Launching Doner Kebab Killing Drones
What was claimed to be a U.S. made search and destroy drone was shot down by a SAM this morning. No casualties were reported. The drone "hit" was claimed by by Mustapha Badpun of the Doner Kebab staff. A spokesman for the Turkish kebab house told...
Read full storyAlabama Crimson Tide become NFL's newest expansion team
The Alabama Crimson Tide have become the NFL's newest expansion team, creating quite a stir in a dysfunctional organization that now seems to be imploding in sundry controversies. NFL spokesman Roger Allovem said it was a tough decision, bringing...
Read full storyWordwide Coyote Arm Conference Attracts Millions of Followers
Men -from around the world - who have chewed off their arm so as to not risk waking the "Beast" they found snuggled up next to them after a drunken night of partying - joined together in Basil Switzerland today -To celebrate their collegial honor and...
Read full storyTombs Disturbed Near Buckingham Palace - "Psycho" Spotted At Nearby Motel
Investigations by Prince Philip and a rapid response palace Beefeater team yesterday confirmed rumours that Prince Charles, a great fan of the late Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho" movie and with a notoriously unusual taste in women, (shunning attractive...
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