Beck Concedes Grammy to Beyonce: Says his Talent with Real Instruments Can't Compete with her Production Value

Written by Tosh Smash

Monday, 9 February 2015

Famous musician and cultural icon Beck Hansen, better known by his stage name Beck, has decided to forfeit his recently earned Grammy for Album of the Year to pop sensation Beyoncé. This startling development came just hours after receiving the award, and was instigated by comments by fellow singer songwriter Kanye West following the award ceremony.

"When Kanye made that statement that Beyoncé deserved the award more than me, it gave me a feeling I couldn't shake," said Beck. "So I listened to her self-titled album, and wow. The production quality was like something I've never heard. It was as if robots were singing with incredible precision which my archaic instruments just can't compete with. I made the decision right there to phone up Beyoncé and formally turn over the award."

Kanye West, who is no stranger to propagating for Beyoncé, said that Beck "made the righteous call." Also noting that Jesus clearly walked with him rather than "that blasphemous heathen" Taylor Swift.

"It's just a relief to see an artist do the right thing," stated West upon hearing the news. "I mean Beyoncé had like 100 people producing that album, Beck just played instruments and sang. I mean what is this the 1800's?"

West went on to say that he holds resentment toward the Grammy committee, and hopes that Beck's actions will weigh on the committee in coming years.

Beck, who is an accomplished musician that plays a dozen different instruments, has won several Grammy's in the past, and is also considering forfeiting his 1996 award for Best Male Rock Vocal Performance to Beyoncé as a way of saying sorry to her for being snubbed.

"I just want to make things right," said Beck. "Music is all about the accolades and money, so I can understand why Kanye and Beyoncé were upset."

Beyoncé couldn't be reached for comment, however sources say that she graciously accepted the award, and it is now proudly displayed upon one of her and her husband's many yachts.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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