The EDL: Even Less Anti-Muslim Than You May Have Thought

Written by TM_Dealer

Monday, 9 February 2015

A while ago, East End Pride was cancelled over alleged links to the English Defence League. But since then, in a period where hostility towards Muslims has been a significant problem, the EDL bigots have gone to great lengths to "prove" they are not hostile towards individual Muslims.

But it's not a pride parade they are offering (well, former football thugs are not famed for their open and tolerant attitudes).

So instead, as a gesture of reconciliation and an attempt to prove they are not bigots (really, really, not bigots), they are setting up a mosque where EDL folk and Muslims can mingle and get to know each other better.

However, the catering arrangements are highly original. So that there are no clashes and misunderstandings, visitors can join either the "halal queue" or the "bacon-friendly queue."

Some EDL members have already left in disgust at what they consider to be an obvious compromise of their oh-so-honorable-and-noble-principles…

Yet others, by contrast, want to go further and set up an Islamic library, university and calligraphy museum, just to reach out further and make extra sure there is no doubt left in anyone's mind that this is a very, very, pro-Muslim organisation.

But Overgrown-Student-Activist and Hard-Left-Social-Mayhem-Warrior Bambi Chowder is unconvinced.

"Bacon sandwiches in a mosque? Pull the other one, mate!" he scoffs:

"I mean, I don't have a problem with having getting plastered the odd time, watching porn, or banging a crapload of bitches on the weekend, (provided they're the s***y kind who don't have any morals anyway)... but bacon sandwiches? That's just bloody immoral, mate!"

Prominent political activist and television personality Gordon Genovese, however, was more open-minded.

"I tell ye what, laddie!" he thunders. "If a party convention was held there, I wouldn't mind a wee samosa to compliment me pulled-pork sandwich. Are we goin' tee allow a wee dram o' Glenfidditch too?"

Thought you didn't drink, Gordon?

"Ach now; a wee glass the odd time."

Well, it seems that Gordon is warming to the EDL. Perhaps he feels they are a little bit more fun on a night out than Colonel Gaddafi or Mohammed Morsi?

"No," he murmurs. "I was never a friend of these men. Don't listen tae the mainstream media, I am no supporters of thon."

Hmmm... Glad you've cleared that one up.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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