NASA Receives A Very Interesting Email From Kim Jong Un
HOUSTON - The spokesperson for NASA, Trent Timmelfarb has informed the news media that an email was sent to The Lyndon Johnson Space Center this morning. The email was from of all people Kim Jong Un, the leader of North Korea. It appears that Mr.
Read full storyMars Curiosity Rover takes Photographs of a Stone
The multi billion pound N.A.S.A Mars Rover has this morning finally proved its 10 million pounds per day worth by taking another picture of a common stone. Whoops of pleasure and excitement were heard throughout the corridors of Mission Control a...
Read full storyHysterical Woman, Not Christie Causes Bridgegate
So, as we all know, there was a huge traffic jam episode on a N.J. bridge that Governor Chris Christie's associates cooked up to embarrass the mayor in Fort Lee whose constitutants would suffer from unnecessary lane closures. That mayor had not endo...
Read full storyWomen Don't Understand Man's Preoccupation With Sex
Dr. Larry Fudd says that most women do not understand why men are so fascinated with their body parts. "It's amazing to me that we aren't worse than we already are", he told Doctors Magazine. "I don't agree with that flog Freud...that Fraud Floyd.
Read full storyChris Christie's new kick ass lawyer a dead ringer for young Santa Claus
Trenton, Knew Joyzee - "Just pop a white-trimmed red wooly hat on him and the guy's everyone's idea of Father Christmas," a NY Port Authority bridge repair guy said today, "give or take another 15-20 years." This weekend millions of East Coast TV...
Read full storyGummy Bear Sales Skyrocket Thanks To American Idol Judges Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban, and Harry Connick, Jr.
LOS ANGELES - The executives at Haribo cannot believe the sudden surge in sales of Gummy Bears. The small fruit gum candy got a huge boost when American Idol judge Keith Urban gave Harry Connick, Jr. a huge blue Gummy Bear during the live results...
Read full story"The FUN-draiser to get Brandon Ashley new legs" and ELITE 8 PREVIEW: Wisconsin vs Arizona
Sean Miller views his coaching job a lot like a buffet, feasting on superb talent and washing it down with a carbonated soda of success (which only costs $1.85 extra given the right circumstances). This sort of gluttony has led him to gain an unhealt...
Read full storyJohn Mayer Wants To Date The Wisconsin Woman Who Has 213 Erogenous Zones
HOLLYWOOD - John Mayer says that he has dated some of Hollywood's most beautiful and sexiest women and he does not dispute the nickname that Tinsel Town gave him John "The Player" Mayer. John recently broke up with Katy Perry after getting back to...
Read full storyJustin Bieber's Mom, Pattie Mallette, Has Checked Herself Into The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic
LOS ANGELES - Well it appears that Justin Bieber has done it. The spoiled child of Pattie Mallette has just caused her to check herself into The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic. A source close to Mrs. Mallette stated that Pattie reached the po...
Read full storyVladimir Putin Threatens All of The Little Nations That Are Siding With The Ukraine
MOSCOW - President Putin has stated that he is getting pretty tired of hearing about all of these third world countries who say that Russia better leave the Ukraine alone. Putin informed the national news agency Vodkavich that his Director of Comp...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Tells Dennis Rodman He's Still His BFF But He Can Forget About Dating His Sister
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un is thrilled that his sister Kim Yo Jong was well received by the people of North Korea. But like Savannah Bamboo, a writer for Political Salad Bar Magazine graphically stated, they would be crazy not to, given...
Read full storyDelaware Bans High School Chest Bumping
DOVER, Delaware - Delaware's senior Senator Preston Wybinski [R-Dover] has informed the members of the press that the state senate has just implemented an emergency bill. The bill named The High School Chest Bumping Bill was mandated by the senate...
Read full storyA North Carolina Grandmother Gets Arrested For Sexting
GREENSBORO, North Carolina - A 73-year-old Greensboro grandmother identified as Daffodil "Daffy" Fugglefield swears that she had no idea that sexting was against the law. Granny Daffy, as her 19 grandkids call her, told arresting officers that she...
Read full storyJessica Simpson Fired As Spokeswoman For Hip Hip Hooray Pantiliners
LOS ANGELES - So far 2014 has not really been a very good year for Jessica Simpson. First off all the father of her two children, Eric Johnson has refused to marry her and now Jessica has just learned that she has been fired by the Hip Hip Hooray...
Read full storyDetroit Tigers First Baseman Miguel Cabrera Gets A Contract Extension Worth $292 Million!
DETROIT - Detroit Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera was all smiles as he had just learned that the Tigers had agreed to give him a contract extension. Detroit General Manager Dave "Moneybags" Dombrowski informed the sports media that the 30-year-old f...
Read full storyVietnam Reports That The Warship The Mekong Mongoose Is Now Sailing Off The Coast of North Korea
HO CHI MINH CITY, Vietnam - The government of Vietnam has just announced that its warship the VS Mekong Mongoose is now sailing off the coast of North Korea after spending some time up in the East Siberian Sea. The Mekong Mongoose was sailing off...
Read full storyNASCAR's Danica Patrick Responds To Ann Coulter's Verbal Jab
NEW YORK CITY - The Queen of The NASCAR Circuit, Danica Patrick flew into the Big Apple to appear on Regis Philbin's and Larry King's The Viagra View talk show. Danica told Regis that she was proud to say that she has just been named as one of the...
Read full storyKobe Bryant: I Hated Playing With Shaquille O'Neal, He Was One Lazy Bro
LOS ANGELES - Kobe Bryant's body may be hurting but there is certainly nothing wrong with his mouth as former teammate Shaquille O'Neal has found out. Bryant met with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated Daily at a Giggling Guacamole Restaurant...
Read full storyIowa Votes To Prohibit Facial Piercings
DES MOINES, Iowa - The state of Iowa has let it be known that they are not going to accept a fad simply because California, New York, and Nevada do. State Senator Claudette Cora Wonderwillow [R-Sioux City] authored a bill known as The Anti-Piercin...
Read full storyThe Last Place Milwaukee Bucks Beat The Los Angeles Lakers 108-105
MILWAUKEE - Buckaroo Kazoo, sportswriter with The Turnstile Review stated that one would have thought that the Bucks had clinched a playoff berth as they went wild after beating the Left Coast Lakers. Coach Larry Drew's Bucks team has now improved...
Read full storyLoch Ness Monster "Wrong Size" for new E. U. Regulations
New E.U. Lake Monster regulations taking effect from referendum day 18th September may mean Loch Ness will have to be drained and the monster shortened by 2 metres to bring it in line with 22 other European Lake Monsters, a spokesperson from Brussels...
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