Jessica Simpson Fired As Spokeswoman For Hip Hip Hooray Pantiliners

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 29 March 2014

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Jessica is devastated at having lost the cush spokeswoman job.

LOS ANGELES - So far 2014 has not really been a very good year for Jessica Simpson.

First off all the father of her two children, Eric Johnson has refused to marry her and now Jessica has just learned that she has been fired by the Hip Hip Hooray Pantiliners Company as its official spokeswoman.

A representative for the pantiliners company stated that Ms. Simpson was terminated due to her having violated strict company policies.

Bedroom Pillow Talk tried to reach Simpson to get the word from her and what she did to get fired.

Jessica's answering service stated that the Hollywood celebrity would not be answering any questions because she was still in a state of shock and depression at having been fired from her $1.3 million job.

A call was made to the home office of Hip Hip Hooray and a recording simply stated that it is not their policy to speak regarding company policies to the members of the news media.

The recording further stated that Hip Hip Hooray Pantiliners come in 13 vibrant glow-in-the-dark colors and they weigh 50 percent less than the average pantiliner. They can also be worn for up to 48 hours while swimming, showering, and even during sex (under certain conditions of course).

SIDENOTE: A call was placed to Larry King co-host of The Viagra View and he stated that the reason why Jessica Simpson was fired was because it was learned that on two occasions within the past week she had actually worn Eve's Garden Brand Pantiliners (a competitive brand).

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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