Hollywood Holding Hands With China
When it comes to money, Hollywood sniffs it out in a hurry and it has come to no one's surprise that it is now chasing China for all the American bucks it has stuffed under it's casting couch. The latest sign is that Hollywood is expanding ties wi...
Read full storyMaude Frickert Dead at 87!
Maude Frickert, often seen on many old television shows has died at the age of 87, the same age as her twin brother Jonathon Winters who died late last year. Maude loved to horse around, especially with younger men as she was married some twelve t...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News: Ventnor to be the new home of Plastic Surgery
Ventnor, the island's southern most city, is set to become the new hotbed of plastic surgery in the UK, supplanting Harley Street as the top destination. "We can expect a a sudden influx of celebrities coming for their face jobs and wrinkle reduct...
Read full storyObama nationalizes NC Fart Farms! Threatens Putin with---Fart & Awe!
President Barack Obama announced this morning that he had nationalized the North Carolina Fart Farms, an alternate energy resource founded this past year by the Reverend T. J. McCorkle. "It is an ill wind that blows no good," stated Rev. McCorkle upo...
Read full storyPutin imposes "Prima Nocte" law on all Crimean Brides
Russia stretched its political muscles over the newly-occupied area of Crimea today, with Russian leader Vladimir Putin creating a new law of "Prima Nocte" in the area. The law was popular during medieval times and allows all Russian tourists the ri...
Read full storyL'Wren Scott loved a roulette flutter but Lady Luck deserted her virtual craps table punts
Los Angeles - An online spread betting website has published pictures of the late designer's $20,000 win at a Seizures Palace, Las Vegas roulette wheel on New Year's Eve 2005. Smiling L'Wren and her deadbeat philandering septuagenarian boyfriend M...
Read full storyChristians buy "What would an Iron Age yokel do?" bracelet
Dateline: CHARLOTTE, NC--Along with its more famous line of wristbands, emblazoned with the words, "What would Jesus do?" Dollars for Jesus, a Christian merchandise company began selling a mysterious alternative, a wristband asking its wearer, "What...
Read full storyDespite Missing Jet Story, Most Americans Still Can't Find Malaysia On A Map
Bumblephuck, U.S. (FoxNews) - Despite the deluge of media coverage on the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370, most Americans still can't find Malaysia on a map of the world. Studies conducted over many years before the jet went missi...
Read full storyJudge Rules Halfwits Cannot Be Banned From Using Library
Judge Jamie Dean of West Virginia has handed down the ruling that halfwits cannot be prevented from using the county library. "That would be interfering with his rights as a citizen of the United States." "We're alright with most of the kids, b...
Read full storyJimmy Carter: 'My own communications are probably monitored'
"We have become a nation of spie,s which is sad", says the former President. Carter went on to tell the press that there among their own group is at least one spy taking down everything he was saying and which of them were nodding their heads in a...
Read full storyHarrogate to be Closed Down and Replaced with Giant Trampoline
Harrogate in North Yorkshire, a residential care town for the aged is to be closed down, due to new EU regulations. A rigourous inspection by "God Complexed" expert on everything, Michael Glove has revealed that people have been dying of natural caus...
Read full storyBeware the Bluetooth
The following is a cautionary tale for the ever more digital, unaware and irresponsibly horny among us. It was December 25, for the heathens amongst you, this is the day us true believers celebrate the birth of our lord and savior by displaying a murdered sapling in our homes and drinking in proximity to people who share similar DNA. This particular Christmas was particularly idyllic. My ex...
Read full storyPresident Obama Wins $2,000 On The Wichita State Shockers Vs. Kentucky Wildcats NCAA March Madness Game
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama called up Vice-President Biden and told him that the burgers were on him. The Vice-President replied, "You won big on the Wichita State Vs. Kentucky March Madness game didn't you Barry." The president replied,...
Read full storyMarch Madness: The Kentucky Wildcats Upset The Wichita State Shockers 78-76
ST. LOUIS - There were a lot of shocked Shockers fans in the Scottrade Center as the loyal Wichita Staters saw there undefeated team 35-0 get beaten by the University of Kentucky Wildcats in the NCAA March Madness Tournament. Wichita State ended t...
Read full storyDavid Moyes Now Older Than Sir Alex Ferguson
A medical examination by healthcare workers at Old Trafford has revealed that Manchester United manager David Moyes is now 'older' than former boss Sir Alex Ferguson. Moyes, who took control over the Reds in July 2013, was 50 years old at the time...
Read full storyPope Francis States That Italy Should Send Troops To The Ukraine
VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis recently stated that he is not a military expert by any means but added that he doesn't have to be since he is the pope. Speaking to a reporter with The Vatican View, Pope Francis commented that he has been keeping up w...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh Reveals That Thousands of Republicans Want Him To Run For President
NEW YORK CITY - Rush Limbaugh just remarked on his radio talk show that he is now more popular than Marco Rubio, Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich, and Rick Santorum all put together. Limbaugh added that every day he receives as many as 80 text...
Read full storyKansas, Missouri, and Iowa Have Banned Lady Gaga Concerts
WATERLOO, Iowa - Three Midwest states have just given notice that they are officially banning Lady Gaga from performing in their states. A spokesperson for Iowa stated that Lady Gaga's Vomit Act, which she performed at the SXSW Festival in Austin...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars' Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman Says Mark Ballas Better Cut His Silly-Looking Hairdo Or It'll Affect His Score
HOLLYWOOD - There is perhaps no one on American television who is more ornery, more cantankerous, and more hated than Dancing With The Stars judge Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman. The 69-year-old Englishman (who looks 89) is perhaps one of the mo...
Read full storyMegyn Kelly of Fox News Says That She Is Probably The Prettiest Republican in The Entire Country
HOLLYWOOD - Fox News reporter Megyn Kelly flew into Los Angeles to shoot a commercial for Empress Emma Estrogen Suppositories. Kelly was at first hesitant to do the commercial but after hearing the tremendous fee she would be receiving she welcome...
Read full storyBolivia Is Furious That Russia Has Hacked Into Their Government Computer
LA PAZ, Bolivia - Reports coming out of the South American country of Bolivia report that President Montero Santa Cantina is extremely furious with the Russian government. It seems that El Presidente has learned that Russian operatives were able t...
Read full storyDrought-Ravaged California To Hire An Apache Rainmaker
SACRAMENTO - The state of California is going through one of the worst droughts in history. Meteorologists are predicting that it looks like years of dryness are in store for the Left Coast state. Lexington Waterbuck, a writer for American Spot...
Read full storyRussia Captures A Ukrainian Submarine, 3 Canoes, and 5 Bicycles
MOSCOW - Russia's national news agency, Vodkavich, reports that the Russian military has just announced some military news regarding the Ukraine. Reports are that the Russian Navy has just captured a Ukrainian submarine and 3 canoes and the Russia...
Read full storyA Massachusetts Judge Rules That Microsoft Can Legally Read Peoples Email
BOSTON - A judge in Massachusetts has just issued a landmark directive which states that Microsoft legally has the right to read peoples email. Judge Erastus "The Gavel" Bockerbottle ruled that the corporate giant can read emails in the interest o...
Read full storyLittle London In North America
Most of us have heard of culture shock. That sense of unease that comes from being immersed in a new culture. Something visitors to Quebec know all to well. One group who should have no problem with this when visiting or living in Britain are those...
Read full storySarah Palin Insists That The Palinista Movement Isn't Dead It's Just Taking A Long Nap
WASILLA, Alaska - A close friend of Sarah Palin's has said that the former governor has been feeling very depressed lately. It seems that the woman known as the Loose Moose feels that she is no longer relevant; a sentiment that is echoed by millio...
Read full storyThe NBA's Cellar Dwellers, The Milwaukee Bucks May Be Leaving Milwaukee
MILWAUKEE - An inside source with the Milwaukee Bucks organization has said that the Bucks ownership may be throwing in the (losing) towel and leaving Beer City. The Bucks have been languishing in the NBA cellar for most of the year and presently...
Read full storyPooh Bears, Fascism and Backmasking
It is strange what can be read into seemingly innocent tales. A recent inquiry into the the themes of various pieces of classic children's literature - much like the 'backmasking' controversy that gripped the United States like a golf club in the 1...
Read full storyGibraltar - Economic Boom Continues and Sporting Triumphs Exceed all Expectations
Great Britain's tiny Sovereign State of Gibraltar will next month be honoured by a Royal visit from The King of Spain's Daughter. She is to visit and honour the site of a little nut tree at the top of the famous Rock. The Rock, which is also to rece...
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