Isle of Wight News: Ventnor to be the new home of Plastic Surgery

Funny story written by IainB

Monday, 24 March 2014

image for Isle of Wight News: Ventnor to be the new home of Plastic Surgery
Wind is invisible, so here's a windmill to demonstrate. Sadly it's a photograph, so it's not moving

Ventnor, the island's southern most city, is set to become the new hotbed of plastic surgery in the UK, supplanting Harley Street as the top destination.

"We can expect a a sudden influx of celebrities coming for their face jobs and wrinkle reductions," said Brian O'Plasty, head of nose-jobs at Smooth Face UK, a practice currently based in Harley Street, London. "Not only is it cheaper, but with the conditions in Ventnor, we're expecting faster recovery times."

What has generated this sudden interest in the sleepy cliff side town of Ventnor? Well, according to the Federation of UK Upmarket Plastic Surgeons (FUKUPS) it is the unique weather conditions in Ventnor that have attracted cosmetic surgeons from all over the UK.

"Ventnor is the windiest place on the island," said O'Plasty. "Additionally, the wind is not from a consistent direction."

With plastic surgery, the biggest risk is the length of time for the operation, but in Ventnor, no actual surgery is required.

"Ventnor is brilliant," said O'Plasty. "We manipulate the face into position, hold it there with botox, then wait for the wind to change, this is normally only a few minutes. This means we don't need as much botox, and the face is stuck like that. Amazing."

Carol Vorderman has already bought a house in Ventnor and has been seen pulling her forehead upwards regularly.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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