NASA Says Mystery Rock on Mars Is an Old Jelly Doughnut
First the word was that the "discovered" rock looked like a jelly doughnut. Read the story at the San Jose Mercury News: "Jelly doughnut" rock on Mars suddenly appears That's old news, as NASA is now reporting that further investigation has rev...
Read full story"Patrol Militia" Hunts Abortion Doctors In South
Meredith Calhoun, known also as "Pistol Packing Mama" of Rapides, LA held a news conference here along with J. Burnside, Elisha Worthington, Joseph A.S. Acklen, and others who are members of the so-called "Louisiana Patrol Militia." Some 16 men and...
Read full storyCardinal Baloney: Sister Uses Wrong Shoe Polish
Responding to widespread coverage of the church pedophile scandal in Chicago, Cardinal Baloney today issued a statement on behalf of the College of Cardinals based in Rome. At a news conference yesterday, in Chicago, personnel files of 65 pedoph...
Read full storySiamese Twins Win City Council Seat
Lisa and Liza Kozominsky's parents always told them they could do anything they wanted, and these spunky sisters did just that by winning a City Council seat in Piginpoke Mississippi. Running on a "The KKK Wasn't That Bad" platform, the sisters, j...
Read full storyThe Captain & Tennilles' 39-Year Marriage Hits The Rocks
PRESCOTT, Arizona - Back in the 70s, before cell phones, iPods, email, and Viagra, the husband and wife musical duo of The Captain & Tennille sang a song called "Love Will Keep Us Together." Well it worked for 39 years but unlike bread and mil...
Read full storyFootball fans responsible for dirty dishes
Bad news if you do not have a dishwasher and like eating your food using clean cutlery and sparkling plates. West Ham fans, including Ray Winstone, Danny Dyer and some movie person who once saw them on the TV have exhausted the UK's supply of fairy l...
Read full storyYou can't do THAT on TV!
Samantha 'Stiff neck, prominent jaw line, unflinching eyes and mechanical mouth' Jones has caused surprise and uproar today after she was spotted showing what appeared to be some kind of human emotion. After hearing about Tennis player Andy Murr...
Read full storyNorway Signs A Secret Pact With North Korea
OSLO, Norway - The government of Norway has decided to protect itself against a possible missile launch from North Korea. Reports coming out of Norway state that the government has signed a secret pact with Kim Jong Un in which the North Korean le...
Read full storyThe Subterranean Homesick News!
Bad news is set to hit everyone this week as large swathes of armed robbery, parliamentary fraud and not to mention the worst weather since records began are due in the UK. It is predicted to be worse than the last time absolutely nothing at all hap...
Read full storyFBI wake-up call for Sleepy Hollow sleeper cell strung out on Nembutal
New York - Alarm bells are ringing at the Westchester County, New York HQ of a clandestine terror cell under covert surveillance by the FBI in its monitoring of long-term Cold War hibernation programs officially declared inert/dead by the Bush/Cheney...
Read full storyUKIP party booked for stand up comedy at Apollo theatre
An electable laugh filled political party is in the final stages of formation with Boris Johnson and the UKIP party at its core. Trial comedy press releases will be held at the Apollo theatre, with side splitting faux passes by each member of the UKI...
Read full story$50m giant blue diamond 'is paste' say auctioneers
South Africa - A huge and immensely rare 29.6 carat blue diamond found near Pretoria's Biltong Boerewors mine has turned out to be a fake according to auctioneers charged with selling it. Dubbed the Biltong Blue the massive sky-colored lump of car...
Read full storyHappy Joy Airlines Launches Its Inagural Flight From Los Angeles Into Aspen, Colorado
LOS ANGELES - A spokesperson for Happy Joy Airlines is thrilled to announce that the airline has just initiated its first direct flight from Los Angeles into Aspen, Colorado AKA Cannabis City. Airline Spokeswoman Rhiannon Dibbledew, 29, told the n...
Read full storyThe Mayors of Denver and Seattle Make A Very Interesting Bet On The Super Bowl
DENVER - The honorable Mayor Michael B. Hancock of The Mile High City has just informed the news media that he and the mayor of Seattle, the honorable Ed Murray have placed a bet on Super Bowl XLVIII (48). Every year it is customary for the mayors...
Read full storyA Woman Who Is 8 Months Pregnant Swims From Los Angeles To Honolulu, Hawaii
LOS ANGELES - In what several news publications have reported as being absolutely amazing, a woman from East Los Angeles has swum from Los Angeles all the way to Honolulu, Hawaii, a distance of 2,551 miles. The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle report...
Read full storyRussian President Vladimir Putin Reveals Who He Has Picked To Win The Super Bowl
MOSCOW - It is no secret that Russian President Vladimir Putin is a great sports fan. He has always said that his favorite Major League Baseball team is the Cincinnati Reds (no surprise there). Putin has also commented that in football he likes...
Read full storyColorado's First Marijuana Shop Wedding
VAIL, Colorado - Corky Fryhouse, 26, and Nora Beth Lumberpratt, 23, were engaged on Thanksgiving Day of last year. And now, the happy couple is thrilled to announce that they have just become the very first couple in the entire state of Colorado t...
Read full storyAn Astounding Super Bowl Fact Regarding Marijuana, The Denver Broncos, and The Seattle Seahawks
LOS ANGELES - Sports writer Zorro La Bamba with The Sports Bet Gazette News has made a very amazing observation regarding the two Super Bowl bound teams. La Bamba pointed out in his publication that the Denver Broncos and the Seattle Seahawks are...
Read full storyKim Jong Un States He Is Not Bipolar and Neither Is He
PARIS - France's Le News Agency is reporting that North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un is furious at an article that he read in the American supermarket tabloid Just Saying. GiGi de Maupassant with Le News Agency stated that the report pointed out that...
Read full storyDr. Phil Says Other States Will Soon Follow Colorado and Washington's "Marijuana Is Legal" Lead
TULSA, Oklahoma - Dr. Phil flew into Tulsa to visit with a man who was his barber back in his high school days. Dr. Phil said that Diego Shimshicky not only was a fantastic barber but he had the best "Glossy Magazines" of any barbershop in the cit...
Read full storyMorecambe becomes Ageworld Theme Town
Former holiday destination Morecambe in the far North West of England is back in the running with the entire town becoming the latest Ageworld Theme Town. Featuring a Euthanasia beach with deadly riptides and quicksand, fleets of mobility scooter...
Read full storyOhio to Try New Method of Execution: Strangulation
LUCASVILLE, OH-After trying a new drug combo to execute convicted killer Dennis McGuire, who choked and snorted in paroxysms of pain for twenty-five minutes before finally dying, the state of Ohio has announced a new method of killing people on death...
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