Pope Francis Will Clean Up, Not Shut Down Vatican Bank
The Vatican bank is to stay in business despite speculation Pope Francis might close down the scandal-plagued institution, according to the latest report. After months of investigation and consultation, the Vatican announced the pope had opted for...
Read full storyHulk Hogan Injects Poetical Moments and Movements into WrestleMania
After a skull-thonking chair slam to his head, the Hulkster stunned the arena by reciting T.S.Eliot's "The Waste Land." Though the crowd seemed to be getting into the esoteric allusions, a ring-side wag interrupted the "Game of Chess" segment by scre...
Read full storyLady Who Shot Husband Nuggets Off Out of Prison at Last
You may not remember Helen Blackaby but she made top news reports approximately 12 years ago when she accidently according to her, shot her husband, Randy's, jewels off. The two had gotten into an argument over a TV Sweepstake like the one once ad...
Read full storyU.S. Aircraft Carrier Claims To Be Transgender
Washington D.C. (LGBT Picayune) - The United States' aircraft carrier John C. Stennis, CVN-74, has filed suit in Federal District Court in Washington D.C. over the U.S. Navy's refusal to grant the carrier transgender status. For centuries around...
Read full storyNASA Announces That They Have Fired The Fortune Teller That Was On Their Payroll
HOUSTON - NASA Spokesperson Trent Timmelfarb has just informed the news media that they have fired the fortune teller that had been a part of their space administration staff. The story first came to light when discovered by Fitzwater Ribicoff wit...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Confesses She Wants To Twerk Portia De Rossi - Ellen DeGeneres Is Furious
HOLLYWOOD - Ellen DeGeneres has often times said that it takes a lot to get her upset; really upset, but it appears that Miley Cyrus has just found the right button. Miley, speaking with Gary Busey on his talk show The Gorgeous Gary Busey Show, co...
Read full storyTragedy as Bob Geldof's daughter Peaches found RIP aged just 25
London - Her mother Paula Yates famously died from a heroin overdose aged just 41 shortly after her lover, INXS musician Michael Hutchence, was found auto erotically asphyxiated in an Australian hotel room. Tonight reports from London-based NewsCo...
Read full storyPhil Jackson, Executive With The New York Knicks May Hire Lamar Odom
NEW YORK - Many sports fans, and especially those out on the Left Coast truly felt that the Los Angeles Lakers were going to fire Head Coach Mike D'Antoni and hire former Coach Phil Jackson. But as Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily st...
Read full storyFox News Develops The Sean Hannity Test For Liberalism
(Fox News) - Fox News has developed and released what it is calling "The Sean Hannity Test For Liberalism." The test is designed to objectively determine who is a liberal and who isn't. Fox News has been the target of perpetual complaints that it...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan To Appear In A Nude Calendar - Promises That Every One of Her Freckles Will Be Revealed
HOLLYWOOD - Lindsay Lohan has stated that she really needs to make some money to help pay off her tremendous legal fees which she has accrued over the past few years. Lohan talked to Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo and remarked how ex...
Read full storyCouple Turn Baby Into Something Special With Help From Clinic
In a strange case in Cleveland, Ohio, a woman is suing her own parents but did not want to appear in court. "I'm sorry", her attorney told her. "The judge says you have to be there in person so that the accused and the accuser are face to face."...
Read full storyPears Downgraded from Fruit to Dwarf-fruit
In a move that has stunned and outraged pear aficionados around the world, pears have been downgraded from a fruit to a dwarf fruit. The move comes after the latest annual conference of the International Fruit Tree Association, or IFTA. The conferenc...
Read full storyBig Oil tycoons pledge $20bn to build Manhattan Flood Barrier
Manhattan, NYC - Months of hush-hush talks held under cover of a Hamptons International Film Festival planning committee are about to go public with the announcement of a $20bn scheme to protect Manhattan from pernicious tidal surges. Negotiations...
Read full storyMore GM Recalls Beside Cobalt?
After Chevy recalled all their Chevy Cobalts, workers at the plant say that there was trouble all along. A Source asking not to be identified stated that two caught on fire in the building they were working on them. "The ones checking out their...
Read full storyFather Christmas using Elf Labour - Sunday Tabloid.
Santa Claus admitted using Elves and Pixies with no N.I. numbers to an undercover reporter working for The Sunday Leftovers. 100,000 elves were freed by police and granted bail, pending an investigation by Immigration Control. Santa is thought by som...
Read full storyBrucie's "Strictly" Retirement Halted as Replacement Mickey Rooney Dies
Much loved Glitz loving Mickey Rooney has died at 93 after an unparalleled career in Showbiz. Rumours that Brucie's retirement from mainstream Chickfest "Strictly" is now on hold after Alex Ferguson's sulky withdrawal from the running are being denie...
Read full storySarah Palin Is Now Saying That The White House Cooked Up The Story of A Volcano Underneath Yellowstone National Park
WASILLA, Alaska - Vice-President Joe Biden, Ryan Seacrest, and Ke$ha all agree that Sarah Palin has just way too much free time on her hands. The Loose Moose from the Iceberg State has just issued her latest anti-Obama malarkey. The Tina Fey lo...
Read full storyPopeye's Chicken Reports That Their First Olive Oyl's Chicken Drive Thru Window Store Is Now Open For Business
LAFAYETTE, Louisiana - The Popeye's Chicken Fast Food Franchise is proud to announce that it has just opened the first of many Olive Oyl's Chicken Drive Thru Window Stores. The first Olive Oyl is located in Lafayette, Louisiana and there were roug...
Read full storyThe White House Reports That The Pinata Party In Honor of Illegal Aliens Was A Huge Success
WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax said that The First Annual White House Pinata Party was a huge success. The party was the brainchild of Vice-President Joe Biden, and civilian presidential advisers Oprah Winfrey and Eva Lo...
Read full storyAviary Experts Are Predicting That Within 2 Weeks Every Bird Will Have Left Yellowstone National Park
CHEYENNE, Wyoming - First it was the buffaloes stampeding out of Yellowstone National Park and heading south towards Colorado. Then there were reports that woodchucks were hurriedly scampering north to Montana. Yellowstone National Park rangers...
Read full storyTwo University Students Engage in Complaint-Free Conversation
New York, NY - In an astounding feat of resiliency today, two university students on the precipice of finals season engaged in a three minute conversation without a single complaint. Danielle Goldstein and Beverly Arden, friends from first year th...
Read full storyWhite House Bans "Doing It" in the Lincoln Bedroom
WASHINGTON, DC - After the World Daily News reported that the Clintons had used the Lincoln bedroom as a brothel for donors, President Barack Obama has issued a statement, condemning the practice and has banned anyone from "doing it" in the Lincoln b...
Read full storyMcDonald's Debuts Its New Burger In Honor of California
OAK BROOK, Illinois - The world's largest fast food chain has just announced that it has just unveiled it latest burger creation. Company spokeswoman Nancy Zabeletta said that after just being on the market for 24 hours the new McVolcanoburger is...
Read full storySarah Palin Says She Believes That The California Earthquakes Are Being Caused By Al-Qaeda
WASILLA, Alaska - Political Salad Bar Magazine is reporting that the former governor of Alaska and failed 2008 GOP vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin has commented on the California earthquake situation. Palin, who is 50, told PSBM's Savannah...
Read full storyMillions Worldwide Mourn The End Of The Golden Age Of The Internet.
It was a demise that many have seen coming for a long time. It is a tragedy whose full impact will not be noticed for a while to come. All things of great worth that are brought into this world go through a cycle- a difficult and long birth, a formative period where it is ignored, misunderstood and its virtues recognized by few, then an ascendance and acceptance by the more intelligent and for...
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