Troll Attack Blunted
The Sun's "Target A Troll" campaign came under fire last night as thousands of internet "Trolls" became targets for horrendous amounts of abuse. Back and to the Left news has discovered that 4 in 5 "Trolls" are now victims of "Trolling" themselves. T...
Read full storyPlot to oust US 'Mr Potato Head' Ambassador to London
Washington AC/DC - The US State Department has learned of a British plot to get rid of Barack Obama's newly appointed Ambassador to the Caught of St James's, Matthew 'Mr Potato Head' Barzun. The 42 year-old New Yorker has horrified his well-heeled...
Read full storyScientists Reveal Cats' Shocking Secret
It has always been a mystery to mankind. Even though we love them, pamper them, feed them and give them shelter, why do cats have a permanent look of disdain for humans? Why are they always refusing to show their emotions? Is Tiddles happy, sad, s...
Read full storyRed Sox Hair Today Growing by the Bushel
PESKY'S BARBER'S POLE/FENWAY PARK- Blood, sweat, and beards, is a paraphrase of Winston Churchill. We see it on T-shirts worn by the players. The fans wore fake beards to the ballpark this week to show their folly and follicle spirit. The Bost...
Read full storyThe Bacon Bill
Republicans in the Senate have rushed through a bill aimed at curbing what they consider "reckless journalism in our time of crisis". Aimed at journalists in particular it is called the "Bacon Oath" after America's spiritual father Sir Francis Bacon, in his time head of the Masonic Order in England and believed by many to have been none other than William Shakesepeare. All journalists and medi...
Read full storyScotland to be as crap at athletics as it is at football by 2016 Olympics, say Yes campaign
An independent Scotland must be given the chance to fly away from Brazil in 2016 with their heads held high, which is easy to do if your head is not weighed down with a heavy gold medal round your neck, said a man on Twitter yesterday. "Scotland m...
Read full storyFly Tipping Tales
Despite being castigated by most people, those of us who indulge in occasional fly tipping are usually unrepentant. Unless you have done it yourself, it is often difficult to comprehend the thinking behind it, and my purpose in submitting this article is to highlight the positive aspects of fly tipping and try to give some insight into why anyone would do it. The first time I ended up fly tipp...
Read full story"I've Permanetly Retired From Competitive Soccer" says Ex-Pope
Rome - Catholic soccer fans are in shock today after Ex-Pope Benedict XVI said he is hanging up his cleats at the end of the season and would no longer compete in Vatican League soccer. Benedict XVI, the leading scorer the last seven seasons for...
Read full storyDick Cheney Hunting This Weekend; Wyoming Residents Warned to Stay Indoors
On a hunting excursion in 2006 then-vice president Cheney famously wheeled around to shoot a bird and instead blasted birdshot into his hunting partners face. Cheney said his ex-hunting buddy still proudly carries the metallic mementos of that fatefu...
Read full storyWyoming Bans Bikini Waxing
CHEYENNE, Wyoming - In a surprise move the Wyoming State Senate has just passed a bill that makes it illegal for women to get a bikini wax. State Senator Stratford Lillinsteen [R-Casper] said that the bill was voted in by an overwhelming vote of 2...
Read full storyThe Kansas City Chiefs Are On The Warpath As They Up Their Record To 3-0
KANSAS CITY - The Kansas City Chiefs are 3-0 after defeating the Philadelphia Eagles 26-16 in Philadelphia. They have already surpassed the total number of games that they won during the entire 2012 season. The fans of the Chiefs are whooping i...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Wants To Move To Greenland
NEW YORK CITY - Angelina Jolie has stated that she can no longer put up with all of the rampant rumors about Brad Pitt being unfaithful to her. She said that the latest rumor to come out of the rumor mills has Brad cavorting with a young Hooter's...
Read full storyKentucky Fried Chicken Announces They May Stop Selling Chicken
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - Word out of the home office of KFC is that the chicken franchise giant is considering making a big change to their restaurant menu. KFC spokesperson Willow Riffaletti, 37, informed the news media that four months ago they hi...
Read full storyDetroit Lions Player Ndamukong Suh Tells The NFL That He Wants To Start Playing Nice
DETROIT - After getting hit with a $100,000 fine, Detroit Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh says that he is going to have to tone down his violent nature on the playing field. Suh considered by many to be the NFL dirtiest player, has a reputati...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Points Out That Her Rehab Clinic Stay Has Made Her Much Prettier
LA BREA, California - Lindsay Lohan was having lunch at the world famous La Brea Tar Pits Diner with the host of American Idol Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest. Lohan has said that Ryan is one of the few Hollywood celebrities who did not turn his back on h...
Read full storySyria Cancels Plans To Invade Scotland
DAMASCUS, Syria - Word coming out of the Syrian Desert is that the Syrian government has decided to cancel its planned invasion of Scotland. A spokesperson for the Syrian government Yamadin Hashiki, 40, stated that after going over the financial s...
Read full storyThe KKK Has Purchased Some Spy Drones
TUCSON - The CIA has just received official confirmation that the Arizona chapter of the Ku Klux Klan has just purchased state-of-the-art spy drones. According to a CIA informant who goes by the code name of The Lone Ranger, the 27 spy drones were...
Read full storyLeBron James Says He Will Stay With The Miami Heat and Will Not Be Joining Kobe Bryant's Lakers
MIAMI - Newlywed LeBron James has finally made it official and stated that he has decided to remain with the Miami Heat and will not be heading out west. James had been asked by Lakers player-coach Kobe Bryant to join him and become a member of th...
Read full storyDemi Moore Admits She Has Had Her Fill of Boy Toys
HOLLYWOOD - Demi Moore, who for the past year has refused to give Ashton Kutcher a divorce so that he can marry his girlfriend the erotically sexy Mila Kunis, has had a change of heart. She spoke with Ersatz Pontoon of Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres and...
Read full storyNew Jersey Home Depot to Partner with Miley Cyrus
At a recent press conference in the parking lot of the Egg Harbor Township Home Depot, local ad manager Tom Turvey announced his plans to feature Miley Cyrus in all of the store's in-house, print and local television advertising in 2014. Based on th...
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