Dick Cheney Hunting This Weekend; Wyoming Residents Warned to Stay Indoors

Written by Asheville Jack

Friday, 20 September 2013

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Cheney: "They said 'one shot' only. They didn't say how big the shot could be."

On a hunting excursion in 2006 then-vice president Cheney famously wheeled around to shoot a bird and instead blasted birdshot into his hunting partners face. Cheney said his ex-hunting buddy still proudly carries the metallic mementos of that fateful day, adding that there are no hard feelings on his part towards his partner for getting in the way. As for his hunting partner feelings, Cheney was quoted as saying, "I mean, who can stay angry with 'ole Dick Cheney?"

To commemorate the seventeenth anniversary of the shooting Cheney said he will be in his home state of Wyoming this weekend to take part in a 'one shot'hunting competition. This time around Gov. Matt Mead will be his partner as they look to bag themselves some bucks in an antelope hunt.

Cheney, who hasn't hunted in years because of serious heart problems, said he was looking forward to the event. "I had a heart transplant last year. Two years ago this time I was on a respirator, heavily sedated… because my heart had gotten so weak after six heart attacks and 30-some years of heart disease that it was, you know, it was at the end. Thank God for my government health insurance,"he said.

Cheney added the new heart had given him a new appreciation of life. "I'm looking forward to getting back out in God's country and killing something again." The event will kick off on Saturday morning. The Sheriff's Department is warning local residents to stay indoors and away from window until the event is over.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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