Four people hurt in spat over porridge

A family of four came to blows whilst rushing to eat porridge too quickly yesterday morning. George and Mary Otterstuff had broken noses after they threw porridge dishes at each other. Their children, Gemma and Emma, suffered burnt lips and tongue...

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Congress reshapes itself into a TV quiz show

Funny story: Congress reshapes itself into a TV quiz show

Washington, DC - Come on down. It's time to play "America's Got Congress" --television's first ever legislative quiz show. That's the battle cry you'll hear every weekday afternoon, thanks to a new law that turned the Senate and the House of Repr...

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Johnny Murtagh bullish about Novellist winning Sunday's Arc de Triomphe

Funny story: Johnny Murtagh bullish about Novellist winning Sunday's Arc de Triomphe

Longchamp, Paris - With two million dollars in high stakes earnings already under his saddle the superb four year-old son of Monsun will bid for Prix de l'Arc de Triomphe glory on Sunday afternoon, the race's best priced third favorite at 13/2. Si...

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Batman Begone! TV Series Spin-offs Coming to a Screen Near You

The Fox network (not actually run by a small woodland dwelling animal as previously thought) has commissioned a new TV series based in Gotham city! The place of course were everyone's favourite "Dark Knight" resides, unfortunately Batman will not be...

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Titanic gala hosted by GOP in nations Capital!

The Republican members of the US House of Representatives and the US Senate hosted a gigantic Titanic party at the Mall and the Capitol Rotunda this morning. Starting at the Mall and the location of the Lincoln Memorial, the statue of Lincoln was rem...

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Where the Child Things Are

Funny story: Where the Child Things Are

The year Ted went to Congress and made mischief of one kind and another John McCain called him "CHILD THING!" and Ted said "I'LL RUIN THE LEGISLATIVE PROCESS!" so he stomped off to bed without passing anything. That very night in Ted's room a chaos grew and grew and grew until his ceiling hung with pointless obstructions and the walls of Congress became the world all around Ted and a tide tumb...

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Peru drug mule stooges 'home for Christmas 2033'

Funny story: Peru drug mule stooges 'home for Christmas 2033'

Lima - Two daft Brit cows caught with one-and-a-half kilos of Colombian cocaine have changed their pitch and admitted trafficking following a Peruvian Justice Ministry plea bargain sweetener. This offers a reduced terms sentence in exchange for gr...

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Small plane crashes into Santa Monica Lewinsky

Funny story: Small plane crashes into Santa Monica Lewinsky

California - Newly elevated to the sainthood by a Vatican paypal decree the 40 year-old ex-Clinton intern was recovering at home yesterday evening following a collision with a twin-engine Cessna Citation at Malibu Airport. Firefighters fought all...

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Top Scientists Claim "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2" As Unlikely And Innacurate As The First One

"Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2" earned $35 million in its opening weekend, beating out several other films. The latest installment picks up where the first one left off. An inventor thought he saved the world by destroying his invention tha...

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Community Outreach Programs Established Nationwide To Help "Breaking Bad" Fans Cope With Withdrawals From Favorite T.V. Show

BREAKING BAD aired its final episode over the weekend, leaving many fans, desperate, alone, and distraught. Outreach programs are being set up throughout the nation to ease woes. "We see this as a time to really put our best foot forward and he...

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West Ham to Sue Government

West Ham may be goal shy away from home but they are fighting a real fight over their image with the Government. 'As the Government is blowing so many bubbles' complained Big Sam Allardyce, West Ham Manager 'we have been forced to take legal actio...

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Starbucks Makes Public Statement Guns Not Welcome But Not Outright Banned

Starbucks public spokesman Anselmo Java recently made a statement to the press regarding the company's stance regarding possession of firearms in any of their establishments. "The only shots we want to hear being fired off in our stores are shots...

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Area Wide School Ban On "Twerking" Enacted During Homecoming Season

Localtown, USA - An area wide ban on a dance craze called "twerking" has been enacted during homecoming season. School officials have decided that it has gotten so out of hand that even the use of the term "twerk", "twerking", or any variation of i...

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Hugh Hefner Says No To A Miley Cyrus Nude Layout

Funny story: Hugh Hefner Says No To A Miley Cyrus Nude Layout

LOS ANGELES - The head of Playboy Magazine, Hugh Hefner has stated that his readers will not be seeing Miley Cyrus in the glossy pages of Playboy anytime soon; if ever at all. The men's magazine mogul told Bedroom Pillow Talk that Miss Cyrus, thou...

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The Denver Broncos Pluck The Philadelphia Eagles 52-20

Funny story: The Denver Broncos Pluck The Philadelphia Eagles 52-20

DENVER - The Broncos fans at Sports Authority Field at Mile High Stadium were literally floating on air when the final gun sounded and their team had soundly trounced the Philadelphia Eagles 52-20. The 52 points broke a single game franchise recor...

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Selena Gomez Reveals A Secret About Justin Bieber

Funny story: Selena Gomez Reveals A Secret About Justin Bieber

DALLAS - Selena Gomez traveled to Dallas to visit some relatives when she ran into Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors. Miss V asked Gomez if she ever misses Justin at all. She smiled and said that she stopped missing him when he began to act like a whi...

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The Kansas City Chiefs Scalp The New York Giants 31-7 Handing Them Their 4th Straight Loss

Funny story: The Kansas City Chiefs Scalp The New York Giants 31-7 Handing Them Their 4th Straight Loss

KANSAS CITY - The KC home crowd had a lot to cheer about as they saw their astounding Chiefs whoop it up and whip up on the New York Giants big time. After all the dust had cleared and the war paint had come off, the team from the Big Apple was gr...

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America's Oldest Surfer Is 103

Funny story: America's Oldest Surfer Is 103

MALIBU BEACH - Malibu Beach is a surfers paradise noted for its long lazy point breaks and ideal wind conditions. Malibu Beach is also where on the weekends you can find one of the most popular surfers on the Left Coast, Claire Lemonfire who just...

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Bruce Jenner Star of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Addresses The Sex-Change Talk

Funny story: Bruce Jenner Star of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" Addresses The Sex-Change Talk

HOLLYWOOD - Bruce Jenner is 63, and he has said on several occasions that he is tired of playing the little submissive husband to the Kardashian Klan director or operations Kris Kardashian-Jenner. It is no secret in LaLaLand that Kris wears the pa...

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The Detroit Lions Make Bankrupt Detroit Proud As They Up Their Record To 3-1

Funny story: The Detroit Lions Make Bankrupt Detroit Proud As They Up Their Record To 3-1

DETROIT - Sporting Chance Magazine's Hercules Confetti said that the Chicago Bears had more turnovers than a Bronx bakery (5). And that little stat helped the Lions defeat the boys from the Windy City by a score of 40-32. The Lions coaches were...

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An Amazing Scuba Diver Travels Underwater From Plymouth, Massachusetts To Biloxi, Mississippi

Funny story: An Amazing Scuba Diver Travels Underwater From Plymouth, Massachusetts To Biloxi, Mississippi

PLYMOUTH, Massachusetts - The United States Scuba Diving Commision has just announced an amazing feat achieved by one of its members. The USSDC stated that member Owen Windowtucker, 52, of Boston has just swum underwater from Plymouth, Massachuset...

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Danica Patrick Shocked At The Miley Cyrus Offer To Join Her Nudist Resort

Funny story: Danica Patrick Shocked At The Miley Cyrus Offer To Join Her Nudist Resort

ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico - Sexy NASCAR race car driver Danica Patrick was in Albuquerque on a promotional tour for her new line of Danica Patrick Bikini Thong Panties®. She was asked by a reporter for a local newspaper to comment on the recent...

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'Going Out of Business Sale' Is Now Being Held on White House Lawn

Funny story: 'Going Out of Business Sale' Is Now Being Held on White House Lawn

WASHINGTON D.C. - An Arab sheik and a popular singer had a bidding war ongoing at a federal government auction Monday. Set to close down its government, the United States of America began its "Going Out of Business Sale" at the nation's capitol and e...

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