At a recent press conference in the parking lot of the Egg Harbor Township Home Depot, local ad manager Tom Turvey announced his plans to feature Miley Cyrus in all of the store's in-house, print and local television advertising in 2014. Based on the recent popularity of Miley's new video Wrecking Ball, which features Cyrus riding a wrecking ball and licking a sledgehammer, Turvey has decided to hire the young performer.
"When I saw that Wrecking Ball video, I was totally blown away!" said Turvey. "I was like oh my God just look at that girl lick that sledgehammer and it was like BANG wouldn't she just be a fantastic spokeswoman for our Home Depot location."
According to Turvey, he got right on the phone and started the hunt for Miley, despite the fact that store manager James Jitney has yet to give his full authorization for the promotion.
"I sincerely doubt that corporate is going to approve any of this," commented Jitney. "Frankly, Tom is just a star-struck fanboy type and should probably be drug tested. Actually, yes, I am going to arrange that right away."
Many of Tom Turvey's co-workers agreed that the ad manager was in way over his head. In the past, Turvey has announced similar promotional partnerships for the Egg Harbor location including Britney Spears performing Hit Me Baby One More Time at a refurbished tool event, Christina Aquilera singing Light Up The Sky at a halogen lamp sale, and Avril Lavigne doing an acoustic version of her hit single Hot at an air-conditioner giveaway.
"One time Tom told us that he was booking Gwen Stefani at our company picnic," said Patty Heiner, head of the employee party planning committee. "But ever since the Wrecking Ball video came out, it's all Miley Cyrus this and Miley Cyrus that all day long."
Turvey was still on the telephone at time of publication, but hopeful he would get on the young pop star's radar. "I have our entire 2014 ad budget ready to be made available to Miley's management company so they can get on board with this program. That's almost $30,000," Tom said. "And I am personally adding my life savings of $2,700 and use of my 2007 Honda Accord for all Miss Cyrus's transportation needs."
There was no comment from the Miley Cyrus management team at the time of publication.