Ziva David is carrying Jethro Gibbs' baby according to NCIS studio leak
Santa Clarita, California - The special agent's sudden unexplained Season 11 disappearance into the anonymous Israeli/Jordanian hinterland was inevitable once the baby bump began to bulge. Now, according to exclusive insider reports based on a San...
Read full storyFirst Grader Sets Unrealistic Expectations for Classmates' Chicken Pox Recovery
Six-year-old Tommy Wilson shocked his teacher and classmates when he walked into school on Thursday, just two days after being diagnosed with chicken pox. The illness, which typically lasts anywhere from 1-3 weeks, is currently plaguing several...
Read full storyElastic shortage raises risk of low-slung underwear
The risk of shortages in supplies of decent elastic this year is increasing, National Elasticity warned yesterday. Recent heat-waves in various parts of the world have ruined the availability of rubber and elastic, and many production companies ha...
Read full storyFamily protests that seized Al Qaeda leader 'is humble halal pie shop worker'
Washington - The family of a terror suspect seized in Libya by US special forces says his only crime was to once pass off a half-baked eel-and-cockle pie as 'halal' despite suspecting it of kosher ingredients. Lawyers acting for Abu Anas al-Libi's...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - House thieves target the island
Newport police are asking residents of the whole Isle of Wight to be vigilant until they capture some rogue house thieves targeting the island. "There has been a sudden spate of house thefts recently," said Detective inspector Jenn Darme, who has...
Read full storyJesse Ventura, Howard Stern Announce Running For High Office In 2016
It became official, Jesse Ventura and Howard Stern are going to be fighting it out for the Presidency and Vice Presidency of the United States of America in the 2016 elections. Last week Jesse Ventura was being interviewed on The Howard Stern Show...
Read full storyThe U.S. and Syria Agree That Syria's Chemicals Will Be Transported To An Arizona Landfill
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has just announced that he and Syrian President Bashar al-Assad have agreed on a solution to the Syrian chemicals. The entire stockpile of chemicals presently located in an underground bunker in Damascus will be...
Read full storyPresident Obama Bet On The Cincinnati Bengals To Upset The New England Patriots and He Won $18,000
WASHINGTON, D.C. - No one in America was happier to see the Cincinnati Bengals hand Tom Brady and the New England Patriots their first loss of the season than the president of the United States. According to Zorro La Bamba with The Sports Bet Gaze...
Read full storyA Desperate Madonna Planning a Comeback Concert Tour
NEW YORK CITY - A close friend of Madonna has said that the aging singer is very desperate to get back into the musical spotlight. The New York songstress has revealed that she is planning The Great Madonna Comeback Tour to begin in early December...
Read full storyNorth Dakota Issues A Directive Prohibiting French Kissing
BISMARCK, North Dakota - Due to the high incidence of people coming down with the flu, colds, and allergies, the governor's office has just issued a Governor's Directive which prohibits anyone in the state of North Dakota from engaging in French kiss...
Read full storyThe Jacksonville Jaguars Could Be Moving To London
NEW YORK CITY - Word filtering out of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell's office hints that London, England could be getting a United States NFL team within two years. Goodell speaking with Buckaroo Kazoo of The Turnstile Review said that as of now t...
Read full storyDr. Phil: If Kanye West Doesn't Slow Down He Is Liable To Self-Destruct
SAN FRANCISCO - Dr. Phil was in Frisco visiting an old patient of his who picked himself up from the depths of depression and now is the CEO of a national insurance company. The doctor was asked by a reporter with a local newspaper what he thinks...
Read full storyPresident Obama States That The Owner of The Washington Redskins Needs To Change The Team's Name
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The president of the United States was recently asked by Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily how he felt about the NFL Washington Redskins having a name that is derogatory to so many citizens of the United States. Pre...
Read full storyWillie Nelson Buys 10 More Marijuana Shops In Colorado
COLORADO SPRINGS - Country music icon Willie Nelson owns 10 marijuana shops in Denver and he has just purchased 10 more in Colorado Springs. The 80-year-old music icon told Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres that he cannot believe how m...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars Eliminates Valerie Harper AKA Rhoda
HOLLYWOOD - The latest celebrity member to get sent home from Dancing With The Stars is Valerie Harper. Valerie and her partner Tristan MacManus danced to the theme song from her hit sitcom Rhoda. Harper did good considering she is 74-years-old...
Read full storyPresident Obama Announces A New Work For Food Federal Program
PHOENIX - President Obama has just announced that he and a committee which included Vice-President Joe Biden, First Lady Michelle Obama, former talk show queen Oprah Winfrey, and sultry actress Eva Longoria, have just come up with a brand new federal...
Read full storyObama Preparing to Become "Supreme Eternal Ruler of America"
WASHINGTON DC - With the Federal government shutdown and a debt limit crisis approaching, President Obama may have no choice except to use Executive Order and declare Congress a National Park, imprison all political opposition on charges of trespass...
Read full storyLady Gaga and the Camorra
Through an internet news site, Lady Gaga sends a secret message to the Camorra crime family in Italy that she owes them $26 million dollars for performing concert's in Italy with their blessings. She assures the Camorra that she will pay them the mon...
Read full storyAn Open Letter To Al Queda And Its Branch Affiliates
Good day guys. How is it going? Blow up anything fun today? Shoot your quota of infidels yet? OK, sorry you're having a bad day. Just a few questions I wanted to ask you guys. (I am assuming you are all guys. I doubt you've opened a female branch) Alright, lets get started here. Now I know you claim to be a religious organization. The "Holy Men of Allah" or something like that.
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