WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has just announced that he and Syrian President Bashar al-Assad have agreed on a solution to the Syrian chemicals.
The entire stockpile of chemicals presently located in an underground bunker in Damascus will be packed into moving crates and loaded on a freighter bound for New Orleans.
From there the chemical laden crates will be transported by a fleet of 18-wheeler trucks and will be driven to an unspecified landfill dump site located somewhere in the vast Arizona desert.
President Obama stated to the news media that the chemical crates will be buried 22 feet deep and then concrete will be poured over the location making a 3 foot thick concrete slab.
SIDENOTE: White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax stated that as a gesture of goodwill the United States will pay the Syrian government a one time fee of $17 million.