15 Worse Names To Call Your Wife During Sex
According to a recent survey by none other that Playboy Magazine, these are the most hated names or terms a wife wants to be called during sex with her husband: 1. Sperm Bank 2. PooPoo 3. You still there? 4. Little Sticky 5. Loosey Goosey 6. Call the undertaker! 7. What's for supper tonight? 8. Did you know you had a wart at your hairline? 9. 84 bottles of beer on the wa...
Read full storyJohn Cooper Clarke's Flogging Oven Chips
John Cooper Clarke's Flogging Oven Chips I was watching telly. ITV When a familiar voice jumped out at me A Mancunian accent from the past A cigarette-induced breathless rasp The name of the poet was on my lips John Cooper Clarke was flogging oven chips I couldn't believe it. I listened again The sponsor of the sacrilege was Mr McCain Not the US politician from the Christian right Bu...
Read full storyDick Cheney Wants To Be A Woman
The former Vice President to George W. Bush announced today that he would like to be a woman, causing nearly 90 people choke on coffee at breakfast time morning. Known for being a rugged individual and hated by the left, it would have been the yea...
Read full storyThe White House toilets have stank since 2009
A White House insider who has defected to Russia, has revealed a horrible and disgusting secret. The toilets in The White House have stank constantly since January 20th, 2009 The defector who remains unnamed, revealed these details to British,...
Read full storyTop Ten Mafia Secret terms To "Knock Him Off!"
Here are the most overheard terms of late for knocking off someone according to over 10,000 FBI secret tapes, once they removed one that turned out to be a new flavor from Ben & Jerry's. 10. Changed His Name to Kennedy. 9. Won't be able to sign up for Obamacare. 8. Playing Harp with Lennon and Harrison. 7. Widow to save money on crematorium bill. 6. Will Vote democrat By Pro...
Read full storyMichelle Obama shocker! 'I'm going full fro bro!'
As our style-savvy readers doubtless know, US First Lady Michelle Obama has become quite the fashion forward woman during her husband's time in office, and she continues to push the envelope with her latest image plans. In a nod to the 70's, Mrs O...
Read full storyFalse Widow colony shuts down Al Shabab-Kebab terror safe house
Isle of Dogs, UK - A ferocious colony of venomous Tarantula Gullibellosa False Widow spiders has forced the immediate evacuation of an Al Qaeda-related terror cell in Barking, Isle of Dogs tonight. Up to ten Islamo-fascist insurgents were holed up...
Read full storyNFL officials to referee Congress
Washington DC - The National Football League has volunteered its squad of on-field officials to "referee" Congress. In announcing the arrangement, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell noted that his army of referees, field judges, umpires, linesmen, an...
Read full storyMany Workers May See Obamacare Quadruple Insurance Payments!
"I just found out that it's true", stated Harry Valletti of New Jersey. 'I thought it was another GOP political ploy but People in my slot, $50-$150 per year as a foreman who works 6-7 days a week, I could be out over half my wages with all the new r...
Read full storyOld Farts Start Their Own "Tea Party"!
Washington: Several older gentlemen have registered their own political party today that will compete with the Democrats and Republicans in 2016! "We're sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and (Slap on the back) being blamed for a...
Read full storyHere Comes "Hyper-Removal"
The US Government on advice from the CIA have coined a new word 'HYPER-REMOVAL". CIA Director Kant Giffafuck said: "The word is a sister of "Overkill" which is now common parlance and has more or less the same work to do. We have ordered our PR Agenc...
Read full storyCowell's Comeback Plan
It has been well documented that Back and to the Left news has a special relationship with X-Factor creator and eventual dark overlord of space and time, Simon Cowell. Rumours have abounded about the internet that it was in fact a donation of sperm from our reporters that finally gave Simon what he had always wanted. A successor to his throne. We wont commentate on this vicious speculation, no...
Read full storyBaby Bumpless Body
Since the Duchess/Princess/Creature gave birth to our future king the public haven't stopped fawning over her like some sort of cured leaper in a colony. There have always been rumour and controversy surrounding the Royal family, from the Diana "acci...
Read full storySir Alec Fergusface to write new book
Not content with writing a tell all book revealing all the secrets from Old Trafford, Sir Alcy 'Guinness' Ferguson has agreed a deal to write YET ANOTHER BOOK. After trashing David Beckham, Roy Keane, Rafa Benitez, Steven Gerrard, Wane Rooney and...
Read full storyDavid Moyes writes book about his first three months at Manchester United
Manc'ester Disunited gaffer David Boyes sensationally tried to grab the attention away from retired Alcy 'Guinness' Ferguson today by announcing his own book will be published next week, revealing all the secrets from his first three months at Old Tr...
Read full storySir Alec Fergieson agrees to manage England for 2014 World Cup
Newly retired Sir Alec Fergieson has revealed in his new book he turned down the chance to manage England twice but, if asked for a third time, would definitely accept the job... with conditions. Fergie revealed he turned down the chance to replac...
Read full storyAfter Tragedy, Townspeople Turn Into "Big Bunch of Jerks"
A gas plant explosion in the small town of Highwater, KS is the type of thing that can bring out the best in people. They band together, help each other, generally pitch in and get through the crisis. Highwater had a different idea, however. T...
Read full storyThe Most Horrific Haunted House Of All Time - The House of Women With PMDD
A new haunted house has been set up in Boulder Colorado that seems set to rank as the most frightening of all time- the House Of Women With PMDD. Halloween spook houses are all the rage here on the Front Range of Colorado, which, when coupled with th...
Read full storyNational Security Agency to Shut Down French Shower Cams
Washington D.C.-In the wake of the last scandal, the National Security Agency has been forced to admit the failure of yet another one of it's spy programs: The French Shower Cam Initiative. Designed to catch French citizens at their worst-naked an...
Read full storyA List of 10 Albums That Did Not Sell
CHICAGO - The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has just issued its yearly list of 10 albums that did not make it off the record store and retail store shelves. Every year hundreds of recording artists go into the recording studio in hopes of hopefully recording the next Thriller by Michael Jackson, Rumours by Fleetwood Mac, or Born In The USA by Bruce Springsteen. But sad to say a good numb...
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