Michelle Obama shocker! 'I'm going full fro bro!'

Written by shufflewick71

Thursday, 24 October 2013

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'Shit, where's ma Evian, man?'

As our style-savvy readers doubtless know, US First Lady Michelle Obama has become quite the fashion forward woman during her husband's time in office, and she continues to push the envelope with her latest image plans.

In a nod to the 70's, Mrs O has announced that she plans to 'get back to her roots', and very much in the literal sense.

Speaking to chat show host Babs Faffersnatch on her daytime show ' The Blab', Mrs Obama said:

'Look Babs, I've done the glamorous dresses, I've done the fringe, I've done the leopard skin hooker heels and thong...Oh shit no, that was at home with Barack (clears throat)...anyway, I've pretty much covered all fashion angles with the help of my faithful stylists, but this ones for me and ma home girls out there, and I'm planning to throw ma weave to the wind....I'm going 'au naturel' and growing a big ass fro!

I'm figuring that once it's fully grown I'll look a cross between the Jackson 5 and the Hair Bear Bunch...bitchin'!

Despite the First Lady's desire for a change of style, it appears that the hair-do will have a further, more practical use:

' Barack is such a forgetful little mother sometimes, and is always losing his bottle of Evian and throat drops before his big speeches, so now I'll be able to kick that to the kerb and stash them in my fro...Marge Simpson style!'

As security issues are also a concern for the President and his entourage, a White House insider also disclosed that the First Lady will be taking matters into her own hands.

'She has already had discussions with the Secret Service as to the practicalities of stashing a hand grenade, an Uzi, a set of brass knuckle dusters and a can of mace inside her afro too, just in case of emergencies.

Rumour has it they had to draw the line when she suggested tear gas earrings.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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