Republicans convinced that Obama is sending out SECRET signals
A research unit located at Marist College in Poughkeepsie, New York, recently analyzed a speech by Barack Obama. They had received a grant from the RNC who asked them to analyze the speech in an attempt to detect any "secret" or "hidden" messages tha...
Read full storyEcuador racketeering lawsuit names ultimate godfather of bent lawyers
New York - The International Shyster Lawyers Association has awarded Tony B Liar its prestigious Lifetime Achievement Gong for inspirational groundwork in New York's forthcoming Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations - RICO - lawsuit against...
Read full storyCharley "Oops" Parkinson Promoted
A heretofore unknown flaw in the Promotion Procedure in the Department of Defense, has elevated Charley "Oops" Parkinson to head one of the most sensitive units in the agency. To a certain extent, Oops will have his finger on the "red button" which c...
Read full storyLittle Foot Discovered
Ben Africa, noted authority on African animals, and recent "chair" in the athletic department at Notre Dame in South Bend, Indiana revealed that he had possibly discovered a "Little Foot" in the Juba area in South Sudan. He admitted that they were...
Read full storyWeiner under the knife
Arnold Schnarzy, a reporter with SCHLEEZ magazine, sensational expose periodical being printed in Bozeman, Montana, in the latest issue, revealed that Anthony Weiner, whose internet behavior forced him to resign his congressional seat in 2011, has, i...
Read full storyMalingering Queen ducks State Opening of Parliament, sends blow-up lookalike doll instead
London - Wednesday's state ceremony will feature a remote controlled latex mannequin whose batteries are powered by low-emission biofuel gas. "Who cares if it looks like Abu Hamza in drag, eh?" Prince Philip chuckled as Palace puppeteers finalized...
Read full storyJon Bon Jovi Dispels The Rumors of Why Richie Sambora Left The Band
NEW YORK CITY - There has been all kinds of speculation as to why long time Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora has left the band. Band leader Jon Bon Jovi has tried to make it seem like it is a personal problem insinuating that perhaps Richie is de...
Read full storyThe Reason Kirstie Alley Is Absolutely Furious With Khloe Kardashian
LOS ANGELES - Kirstie Alley has said that if she ever sees Khloe Kardashian on the streets of L.A. she may just end up putting a bit of a hurt on the Kardashian diva. Alley is reportedly furious that Khloe who is the host of the Nourishment Networ...
Read full storySelena Gomez Asks A Big Favor Of Taylor Swift
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Selena Gomez has said time after time that she is never, ever getting back together with Justin Bieber. She says that she does not know how to make it clearer than that. Selena is so sure of that fact that she even asked her clos...
Read full storyCharles Barkley Wins $1,280,000 On Kentucky Derby Winner Orb
LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - The 139th running of The Kentucky Derby was run on a field that was muddier than the town scenes in the western AMC TV series Hell On Wheels. Orb who was favored at 6 to 1 odds started the race in 19th place out of 19 horses...
Read full storyAmanda Bynes Says She Wants To Be The New Lindsay Lohan
HACIENDA HEIGHTS, California - Amanda Bynes was asked by Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors about the recent incident in Marina Del Rey where she was throw out of The Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner. The troubled Nickelodeon actress replied that apparentl...
Read full storyPresident Obama Says North Korea's Kim Jong Un Wants The U.S. To Give Him A $1 Billion Loan
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama revealed to Vice-President Joe Biden and his dinner guests George Clooney and Stacy Keibler the latest regarding that big mouthed North Korean fella Kim Jong Un. The four were having dinner at the White House alo...
Read full storyThe Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Cinco de Mayo Wedding
MCINTYRE, Georgia - The little Georgia town of McIntyre was the site of one of the biggest celebrations in the town's history. Alana Thompson AKA Honey Boo Boo, star of the reality show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, said her daddy Mike "Sugar Bear" T...
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Is Very Unhappy With Kate Middleton
LONDON - Queen Elizabeth has said that she will not tolerate anyone in the royal family not adhering to established royal protocol. Reports out of Buckhouse AKA Buckingham Palace state that the 87-year-old gal is sick and tired of reading about he...
Read full storyOliver and Company actress arrested
Former 1980s child actress Natalie Gregory of 'Oliver and Company' fame has been arrested by the LAPD on three outstanding speeding citations and one count of talentlessness. The incident occured at approximately 12:45am Los Angeles time when Offi...
Read full storyHeaven Restructuring: God Out, Shiva In
HEAVEN--St. Peter announced today that heaven was going through a major restructuring and that Yahweh, CEO of Heaven since time immemorial, would be replaced by Shiva, known to his associates as "the Destroyer." Explained St. Peter: "Over the mil...
Read full storyPresident Obama to Run for Third Term, as President of Kenya
Sources close to the president have confirmed what heretofore had been only a tantalizing rumor. But today a startled world learned that at the conclusion of his second term the President plans to move with the first family to Kenya and run for the...
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