Written by Spicewood

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

image for Republicans convinced that Obama is sending out SECRET signals
Secret Messages

A research unit located at Marist College in Poughkeepsie, New York, recently analyzed a speech by Barack Obama. They had received a grant from the RNC who asked them to analyze the speech in an attempt to detect any "secret" or "hidden" messages that Reince Priebus, RNC Chairman, thought might be lurking there.

They painstakingly analyzed letter frequency, voice inflection, word spacing timing, variations in audio, body language, gestures, eye contact with the camera. Many hours of tedious scrutiny by their entire staff did detect a pattern, very sophisticated, unique, and advanced to anything our finest cryptographers were aware of. It was nothing like they had ever seen, or even realized was in existence, today.

Marsha VonDemier, graduate student working on her Doctorate in Cryptology, was the first to realize the pattern that he was using, vocal, tonal in nature, so sophisticated that the soon to be Doctor, loudly exclaimed, "This is incredible, I am seeing a message here, it is cryptic, way ahead of anything I have seen."

She and the others involved fed all of their findings into the G227A5 Mega Computer, one of the finest in the world.

They assembled in the Board room, to await the G227A5 printout, with the results of their tireless work. Their hope, was to give concrete evidence to the RNC which they would then confront the president and answer the allegations of subversive and treasonous actions on his part, and demand to know who was receiving his encrypted message.

The large screen in the Board room sprang to life, it had completed calculations in minutes that a few years ago, would have taken many hours.

A capital T was the first character, ah, Terrorist, Terrorism, W, "Oh my God, they shouted," Terrorism in Washington..... they waited, then a P, what could that mean, they all wondered.

They immediately confronted Obama, they had the proof, he was sending encrypted messages to someone, Al Quida, Russia, who? Obama was flustered, he was caught off guard, he looked guilty. He confronted Priebus, .................... "Two with Pepperoni, it was for Papa John."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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