No Houdini-style bodybag, poison umbrella marks or Plutonium cocktail as Russian tycoon Boris Berezovsky found RIP in the bath
London - The usual suspects could still be in the frame as police forensics pore over the exiled Russian tycoon's remains at his Surrey home tonight. The former Kremlin power broker was found slumped in a marble bath tub this morning just days aft...
Read full storyLeader of the Free World busy watching 19-year-olds throw ball through hoop
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Though he could have been focusing his energies on the Syrian crisis, the North Korean threat, or the sluggish economic recovery, Barack Obama, President of the United States and the most powerful man in the world, reportedly sp...
Read full storyBlue ice from Obama's Scareforce One 'mistaken for East Coast meteor' - reports
Groom Lake, Nevada - The flashing space rock that lit up the skies from Florida to New England yesterday probably wasn't a meteor, a NASA source at the Agency's Area 51 HQ said today as samples of, er, space effluvia were being studied. "Most like...
Read full storyEaster Defaults; Resurrection Looks Doubtful
Brussels - The Holidays and Holy Days Panel of the European Union has canceled Easter this year due to a lack of funding. "The Almighty, and I do use that name with a high degree of bitterness, refuses to perform a Resurrection this year," said Re...
Read full storyIsle of Wight dog poo register mooted
Cowes - A CSI Miami-style forensic lab database to identify badass pooches dumping on Isle of Wight streets proposes to tackle the dog mess problem. Its findings would be posted on the island's Faecesbook account in a name 'n' shame exercise to ou...
Read full storyGold for the Irons
West Ham have won something! This staggering news was met by shcoked fans who were ready to moan at the latest inept display. Porn star Davinia Gold celebrated the victory of the Hammers getting their feet into the Olympic stadium by revealing all...
Read full storyBelichick's Latest Spying Scandal on Patriots' Wives
With the accusation by former Patriot Ted Johnson in regard to the wife of Vince Wilfork, informants now reveal that all Coach Bill Belichick's personnel decisions are based on the players' wives. Ted Johnson, now a Houston Texan analyst and beaut...
Read full storyMoscow Mix Up Disaster
Crossed wires were being officially blamed today for the Russian refusal to bail out Britain's ailing economy. Somehow the request for help was lost in translation and a special delivery of Moscow weather was sent instead of money. George Osbor...
Read full storyMontana Says No To Beer
HELENA, Montana - The Montana state legislature has just passed a law that prohibits the drinking of beer anywhere within the state. Senator Wendell T. Tibbinsky [R-Missoula] said that he and other senators had received hundreds of complaints late...
Read full storyPolice Called To Kirstie Alley's Home
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - One of the Left Coast news agencies is reporting that police were recently called to the Hollywood Hills home of Kirstie Alley. Police responded to neighbors complaints at Alley's Casa Calories home at a little after midnight.
Read full storyGisele Bundchen To Sue Dancing With The Stars
NEW YORK CITY - Gisele Bundchen, who is better known as New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady's highly vociferous wife, was in the Big Apple shopping for underwear. She was asked about the report that she is considering suing the producers of...
Read full storyWill.i.am. Announces He's Changing His Name
CHICAGO - The leader of the Black Eyed Peas, Will.i.am. was in Second City visiting one of his aunts, MayShontell "Grits" Waterford, 62. While in Chi Town, he was asked by Tittle Tattle Tonight about the rumor that he was thinking of changing his...
Read full storyTyra Banks Vows To Lose Her Muffin Top
NEW YORK CITY - The host of America's Next Top Model, Tyra Banks, has promised that she is going to do everything within her power to get rid of the muffin top that she has developed over the past few months. Tyra told her good friend Beyonce that...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Is Still In Boo Hoo City
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Billy Ray Cyrus, the former country music artist, says that he spoke with his daughter Miley the other day and he could not believe how broken hearted she is. The man who had a big hit with the song "Achy Breaky Heart" said that M...
Read full storyNick Clegg Sets the UK Security Bond Immigration Rate at £1,000 (Vat Inc).
In a new twist and turn of PM David Cameron's recent visit to India Nick Clegg has paved the way for anybody to come to Britain en masse from India and Pakistan for the price of £1,000 sterling and Chicken Tikka Masala with extra rice. In a spee...
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