Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 23 March 2013

image for No Houdini-style bodybag, poison umbrella marks or Plutonium cocktail as Russian tycoon Boris Berezovsky found RIP in the bath
An early passport photo from Berezovsky's NATO file

London - The usual suspects could still be in the frame as police forensics pore over the exiled Russian tycoon's remains at his Surrey home tonight.

The former Kremlin power broker was found slumped in a marble bath tub this morning just days after his one-time French lawyer Olivier Metzner was found 'swimming with the fishes' in waters off his private island in Normandy last weekend.

A string of recent high profile legal losses - including a £3 billion [$4.7 billion] damages claim against Chelsea Football Club's Roman Abramovich and a shambolic £200 million cohabitation settlement to ex-girl friend Elena Gorbunova - saw the former Mercedes car importer down to his last million or two.

Rumors last week speculated about the freezing of some of Berezovsky's secret bank accounts in the Cyprus offshore tax haven favored by fellow Russians may have contributed to vast strains on his usually bulging wallet.

Those who knew him always reckoned he was a dead ringer for "Bloody Sunday' actor James Nesbitt, a facial similarity that dogged both men in internet chat rooms from the Isle of Dogs to Bloodyvostock.

A CSI New York-style autopsy is expected shortly.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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