Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 23 March 2013

image for Police Called To Kirstie Alley's Home
Two Hollywood Hills police officers on their way to Kirstie Alley's home.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - One of the Left Coast news agencies is reporting that police were recently called to the Hollywood Hills home of Kirstie Alley.

Police responded to neighbors complaints at Alley's Casa Calories home at a little after midnight.

It appears that several phone calls were made regarding Ms. Alley's dancing and more exact Ms. Alley doing the Harlem Shake.

Hollywood Innuendo reports that one of the neighbors who did not want her name revealed stated that when Miss Alley started dancing the rumbling caused some of her prized tea cups to fall off the tea cup collection shelf.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Hollywood Innuendo does not adhere to the notion of not naming names simply because an individual requests that their name not be mentioned. The neighbor's name is Deidre "Boopsie" Quibbawitz, and she just turned 74 last week.]

When police arrived at Casa Calories, they were met by Miss Alley's downstairs maid, Ling Ling Chinski, 19, who said that Miss Alley was in the backyard exercising.

The police officers made their way through the house and onto the backyard. They found Miss Alley dressed in a purple moo moo and barefooted dancing the Harlem Shake to the music of Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz band.

She turned off the music and asked the officers if there was a problem. Officer Yancy Mannermist responded by saying that several neighbors had called to complain about the loud music and the fact that her dancing had caused some tea cups to fall off of a tea cup display case.

Kirstie asked if the complaintee was old woman Quibbawitz. She was told they could not give her that info but yes it was in fact Deidre Quibbawitz.

Kirstie told the officers that Quibbawitz is just mad because her 78-year-old husband Chester recently ran off with a Los Angeles Laker girl.

Alley promised that she would not do the Harlem Shake anymore and invited the two officers to have a midnight snack of Taco Sliders with her.

In Late Breaking News. Ryan Seacrest insists that his breakup with long time girlfriend Julianne Hough was not caused by an affair he allegedly had with Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kate Upton.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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