Montana Says No To Beer

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 23 March 2013

image for Montana Says No To Beer
Effective April 1, 2013, anyone residing in or visiting Montana will not be allowed to drink beer.

HELENA, Montana - The Montana state legislature has just passed a law that prohibits the drinking of beer anywhere within the state.

Senator Wendell T. Tibbinsky [R-Missoula] said that he and other senators had received hundreds of complaints lately from irate buffalo owners.

The animal owners conveyed the fact that they were tired of their bison being traumatized by drunk drivers who would honk their vehicle horns repeatedly as they drove by the grass-feeding buffaloes.

One buffalo rancher identified as Osgood "Slim" Stillgarden, 73, of Butte, stated that several of his female buffaloes have become so nervous and so traumatized at the incessant horn honking that they have stopped having sexual relations.

Stillgarden explained that the male buffaloes could not get the female buffaloes to participate in some animal merriment (humping) due to the fact that the females were in a frenzied emotional state.

He went on to say that just about everyone of his female bison were fidgety, jittery, and highly perturbed.

County Sheriff's Departments throughout the state tried to curtail the beer drinking honkers but it turned out to be a losing battle.

Senator Tibbinsky commented that the only alternative was for the state senate to pass a bill prohibiting the drinking of beer within the state.

He pointed out that when the law goes into effect on April 1, any individual caught with a beer in the state of Montana will be fined $700 for the first offense.

The second offense will result in a fine of $2,100 plus three days in the county jail.

Senator Tibbinsky remarked that if someone should be so dumb and so hard headed as to commit a third offense he or she will be fined $9,700 and incarcerated in The Big Sky Country Correctional Facility in Butte, for a period of five months with no chance of parole.

In Political News. Hillary Clinton is denying that her and Bill have stashed thousands of Hillary In 2016 bumper stickers in the garage of their Chappaqua, New York residence.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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