WASHINGTON, D.C.--Though he could have been focusing his energies on the Syrian crisis, the North Korean threat, or the sluggish economic recovery, Barack Obama, President of the United States and the most powerful man in the world, reportedly spent Saturday night watching a collegiate athletic contest. Sources confirmed the contest involved men too young to legally buy alcohol running around and throwing a rubber ball into an elevated hoop.
"Wow, that Russ Smith has some range from downtown," the commander-in-chief of the most advanced military force in human history was overheard saying. "Good thing too, 'cause Colorado is really putting the heat on in the paint."
The man responsible for dictating the foreign and economic policies of the Western world was also said to have became upset upon learning that his left bracket had gone "completely to shit."
