Rupert Murdoch is mad at Bill Clinton, keeps tweeting names of the President's secret brats
New York - He's already posted the names of three top suspects as the long-term effects of 14-year prenup tension begins to bite at those wrinkly, octogenarian gonads. [Ouch!] Today pals of the NewsCorpse mogul kinda insisted Big Rupe always knew...
Read full storyEscaped balloon shot dead
A balloon that drifted free from its enclosure, after becoming untied, was shot dead yesterday. The huge red balloon was shot down as a safety precaution by a game keeper after it soared over the perimeter fence at Gateshead Safari Park and Balloo...
Read full storyConfessions of a Former Sarah Palin Supporter.
Yes, it is true. I voted for Sarah Palin. No, not when she was running for Vice President. Way back when she was running for governor of Alaska. Posters of her were everywhere in the 49th state. She seemed genuine, wholesome, the real thing. Not to mention cute as hell. And for the most part she was genuine. She really did do things out of an independent nature (which later morphed to be...
Read full storyBilly "Bombs Away" Clinton Defends "Wuss" at The Lewinsky
Due to controversy over applying the word "wuss" to President Barack Obama, Bill Clinton has felt compelled to clarify his vocabulary, using one of his favorite venues, a nightclub titled "The Lewinsky," located near the White House. Last night at a prime hour in Club Lewinsky's revels, the pole dancers there working for the Rolita Shylee Pole Dance Ensemble stood aside so that the former Presi...
Read full storyNew Exercise Sensation
A new exercise, thought to have been developed by followers of Genghis Khan, has been causing great excitement on the internet. As illustrated by a follower of the new fashion, Scatthi Scactum, it consists of the practitioner holding the neck of t...
Read full storyBernanke selling all the stuff he bought on eBay
Washington DC - According to anonymous sources close to Bernanke, he is selling all the securities, all the stocks, bonds, realestate, and gold that he purchased with the Federal Reserve System. Why? According to sources, Bernanke is leaving the...
Read full storyFeds reopen TWA Flight 800 X-Files
New York - Was a bunch of extraterrestrials remote-controlling the Clinton/Gore Administration responsible for the terror attack that killed 230 people 17 years ago? The reopening of the FBI's secret X-Files division this week will try to answer t...
Read full storyRosie O'Donnell Says If She Wasn't Happily Married She'd Hit On Shakira
NEW YORK CITY - Rosie O'Donnell appeared on The Viagra View and was asked by co-host Larry King how her new marriage was going. Rosie smiled and said that if she was any happier it would probably be illegal. She then reflected on her past and h...
Read full storyKim Kardashian and Kanye West Finally Reveal The Baby's Name
BEVERLY HILLS - Family and friends of Kim and Kanye had a field day trying to figure out what the unmarried couple was going to name their new baby girl. Well after all kinds of speculation about names that ranged from Annaquenetta to Kimkaneesha...
Read full storyTwitter Birdies Take Over Word TWEET, Real Birds Furious
The "takeover" is a done deal. And "real" birds (y'know the kind that chirp outside your window and poop on the windshield of your car) are all aflutter. As reported by a reporter who understands bird talk and listened in on their conversation,...
Read full storyKristen Stewart Denies Cuddling With Tom Cruise
BEVERLY HILLS - Kristen Stewart took time out from shopping on Rodeo Drive to respond to a claim regarding her and Katie Holmes' ex-husband Tom Cruise. K-Stew talked to Voodoo Dupree with Glamboyant Magazine. It seems that one of the supermarket t...
Read full storyKelly Preston Suddenly Drops The John Travolta Divorce Talk
ORLANDO, Florida - After months of threatening to divorce her husband, movie star John Travolta, Kelly Preston has decided that she will stay with him and ride out the gay storm. According to Bedroom Pillow Talk at last count there were somewhere...
Read full storyNina Dobrev, Keira Knightley, and Brad Pitt To Star In The Erotic Spy Thriller The English Muffins
HOLLYWOOD - Lion's Face Films in association with Sky Tower Pictures has just announced that Nina Dobrev and Keira Knightley will soon be starring in a Tico Scallavini production. Scallavini informed the Hollywood press that the movie is titled Th...
Read full storyNow that fat is a disease, Disney to reopen Habit Heroes exhibit
DISNEYWORLD, FL - Now that obesity has been declared a disease, Disney World is reopening its Habit heroes exhibit. The "innovention" was closed down, supposedly for "repairs," after parents and educators alike condemned the attraction for "shaming"...
Read full story