2023 - With Half Of America Shot NRA Still Doesn't Want Gun Control
April 23, 2023 (Washington, D.C., or what is left of it.) - The National Rifle Association and Congress again face off against each other over the never ending debate over gun control. Once again it took a major massacre, this time the entire State o...
Read full storyDroylsden finally gets its tram
After being in the planning stage for twenty years, the much vaunted Manchester tram system is to get it's first of several new extensions that will take the tram network into East Manchester. This week, the first part of this opens, with stops in Dr...
Read full story"Guns don't kill people! Old age kills people!"---Wayne LaPierre
Wayne LaPierre, head of the NRA, held a press conference this morning to make a major announcement. His Face flushed and obviously excited, he gripped a sheaf of papers and took the podium. He began: "Guns don't kill people! Old age kills people...
Read full storyStreet named after Michael Gove
Education Minister Michael Gove has had a street re-named after him in Gravesend. Michael Gove Grove is a quiet row of newly re-furbished houses recently occupied by newly-educated families and young people who have benefitted from Michael Gove's...
Read full storyLi Lo Abducted By Aliens
Little Lindsay Lohan has startled fans by saying that she has had to endure being abducted by aliens on numerous occasions. The troubled star said that it had gone back to the height of her career when she was a shiny new starlet in "Mean Girls".
Read full storyHRH, Dame Judi and 007: the story just gets better
A statement issued today by a Palace spokesman has added nothing but confusion to the story of the Queen vs. Dame Judi, or 'Lizziegate' as it is now known. The spokesman denied emphatically that the Queen had anything to do with the reported inci...
Read full storyLittle Kim's Face Has Been Recycled
A new improved Little Kim has been launched onto the celebrity circuit. The diminutive, pint sized beauty has been, new and 'improved'. Startled pundits noted that there was a distinct Asian, robotic look to her shiny new face. She is barely r...
Read full storyGerman girl on the dole offered job in brothel by Jobcentre!
Being on the dole in Germany is slightly different to elsewhere in Europe as the case of a a 19 year-old girl in Augsburg has proven. The local jobcentre offered her a job in a brothel because they were looking for a cleaning lady to clean up the pla...
Read full storyHe's the brash, public face of Ryanair, but who is Michael O'Leary?
With so much negative press about him, I was a little apprehensive about facing Michael O'Leary. He'd agreed to meet me for brunch at a stylish bistro in Grafton Street. Despite a hazy mental image of his face, I recognised him the instant he came through the door. The swagger, the expensive suit, the manic eyes: they all announced The Man. He ordered us both a full Irish breakfast and a select...
Read full storyHuhne in Perverting The Course of Justice Shocker
Disgraced and humiliated Lib Dem MP Chris Huhne has asked to be given a community sentence in regards to his recent guilty plea for perjury and perverting the course of justice. In the biggest scandal to hit Whitehall since plebgate and George Ga...
Read full storyCoast to Toast
I just returned from a business trip to Vancouver and Seattle with some of my colleagues. Now, being relatively new to working for a company that affords such luxuries as jet setting around the country on someone else's dime, I was somewhat dismissive about the cautionary advice from colleagues who had previously embarked on the same trip, about how exhausting and fast paced it can be. Come on. Re...
Read full storyBournemouth Photographer admits guilt for latest Gazza booze meltdown
The photographer at the centre of the Gazza booze binge storm has admitted his part in the much loved footballers latest drunken meltdown in an exclusive interview with Shaworth of the daily Spoof. "I was really busy when he called by" the photograp...
Read full storyUproar from the Nation's Couches Over the Rising Cost of Chicken Wings
Jay Stillman has had enough. The veteran couch potato from Beeville, Texas, has changed his weekly order for seven buckets of chicken wings. "I'm cutting down to six buckets until they lower the price. Someone has to take a stand," he said. Acr...
Read full storyUnassuming Man Insults Iranian On Train
An Iranian man visiting The Big Apple is set to sue the New York Subway system after claiming he was insulted by a multitude of passengers making his journey on the underground transit system "unbearable'. He is seeking $5,000,000 in damages. Ta...
Read full storyWherefore Art Thou Going, Kevin Garnett?
Doc Rivers finally articulated what many fans have begun to feel: Rivers is sick and tired of all the "silly" trade rumors that have been tweeted by twits. Now that social media is in full flower, so is the silly season. Any moronic rumor that st...
Read full storyWant to be a Sexual Olympian? Try Bed Bull!
It's the ultimate beverage: an energy drink, sports drink, and Viagra-like sex boost in one can. Called Bed Bull, the product is scheduled to be launched this year. The drink is a potent cocktail of caffeine, electrolytes for athletic ability...
Read full storyMy Darling Doll
In the news we read: The French National Assembly and UK lawmakers have approved the same-sex marriage bill. What is the next unfinished business? Paul Gallico, (1897 - 1976), American novelist, in 'The Enchanted Doll, wrote:" … remembered the approaching birthday, …modest gifts… the doll... she was made all of rag with a painted face, and represented a little girl with the strangest, tende...
Read full storyMichelle Obama is Spock's sister
Star Trek fans are reeling from the revelation that Michelle Obama is actually Spock's sister. Trekkies were amazed to see Michelle Obama wearing a Romulan costume at the presidential inauguration. The First Lady was wearing a costume which was ide...
Read full storySofia Vergara's Nude Calendar Is Outselling Paris Hilton's By A 9 to 1 Margin
CHICAGO - The CEO of Calendars 'R' Us, which is the largest calendar manufacturer in the world, has just stated that The 2013 All-Nude Sofia Vergara Mayan Apocalypse Calendar is having astounding sales. Axton P. Zipplecross, Jr., the calendar comp...
Read full storyVirginia to Adopt the Mexican Peso
Virginia is on the verge of separating itself from the nation's wealthy monetary system, to adopt a Mexican economy while at the same time implementing the famed Mexico Peso worth .08 cents to the American dollar. Virginia Republican Del. Robert...
Read full storyPolitical Facebook - President Obama and George Clooney
POLITICAL FACEBOOK President Obama: Hello George. Are you there? 8:03 a.m. George Clooney: I'm right here Mr. President and how the heck are you doing sir? 8:07 a.m. President Obama: I'm good Georgie. And do tell me how is that gorgeous long-legged girlfriend of yours? 8:11 a.m. George Clooney: Which one? Just kidding. Stacey is in New York City shooting a high heel shoes commercial...
Read full storyMP Huhne set to gain first-hand knowledge of Prison System
Liberal Democrat Chris Huhne is to resign after he was totally buuusted making a massive u-turn over a driving offence. Initially Huhne was adamant of his innocence, nobly arguing it was infact his then wife who had accrued the speeding points. H...
Read full storyTown Residents Challenge Rabid Environmentalists
Nutterville DE: An ordinance was passed by the town council that prohibits idling a vehicle's engine for more than five minutes in a 60 minute period. Violations could result in a $100 fine. A town meeting was called to protest the town's rabid en...
Read full storyMr. Ed, Secretariat Eaten at Burger King
The UK branch of the fast food chain Burger King was still reeling from the publicity surrounding the fact that horsemeat had found its way into some of their burgers when another blow was dealt to their image. It seems that at least two or three bel...
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