Town Residents Challenge Rabid Environmentalists

Thursday, 7 February 2013

image for Town Residents Challenge Rabid Environmentalists
"Turn Off Your Engines"

Nutterville DE: An ordinance was passed by the town council that prohibits idling a vehicle's engine for more than five minutes in a 60 minute period. Violations could result in a $100 fine.

A town meeting was called to protest the town's rabid environments convincing the town council to pass an ordinance that gets into law abiding citizen's knickers and potentially criminalizes them. The town moderator invited a spokesman for the environmentalists followed by a spokesman for the protesters to present their positions.

The spokesman for the environmentalists cited that climate change prevention necessitated the ordnance and proposed adding cows breaking wind to the ordinance. The town moderator ruled the motion out of order.

The spokesperson for the protesters cited the following incidents caused by the ordnance. A pregnant woman waiting for her husband had twin baby girls in the driver's bucket seat because the engine would not restart. A senior citizen experienced frostbite (engine off no heater) while sitting in 20 degree Fahrenheit weather for 55 minutes. Another senior citizen experienced heatstroke (engine off no air conditioning) while sitting in 90 degree Fahrenheit weather for 55 minutes. A traffic accident stopping all traffic caused the unnecessary writing of 200 tickets. A traffic jam where drivers turned off their engines caused another subsequent tie up as many of the vehicle engines would not restart.

The spokesperson for the protesters concluded that the ACLU is planning to sue the town on behalf of the protesters for $10 million unless the town council rescinds the ordnance, as it is unconstitutional and violates town resident's civil rights.

The town council agreed to consider rescinding the ordnance.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more