Virginia to Adopt the Mexican Peso

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Thursday, 7 February 2013


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image for Virginia to Adopt the Mexican Peso
Virginians will be using bicycles because of the high price of gas that's expected.

Virginia is on the verge of separating itself from the nation's wealthy monetary system, to adopt a Mexican economy while at the same time implementing the famed Mexico Peso worth .08 cents to the American dollar.

Virginia Republican Del. Robert Marshall said his bill calls for the creation of a 10-member commission that will prepare a treaty with the Federal government, so the Federal government will bail out Virginia's economy in the future.

The economy in Virginia is expected to fail continuously because of the new independent economic system that will be implemented.

The State House, which is mostly made up of close cousins, voted 65-32 earlier this week to approve the measure, and it will now go to the Senate.

Marshall plans on turning Virginia into the largest Las Vegas the nation has ever seen, to keep a constant flow of foreign dollars coming into Virginia. Gambling, illegal sex, pirated goods, and drugs will be legalized to attract tourism into Virginia to avert the economic collapse of the state.

A study costing $20,000 which analyzed the possibility of returning Virginia to a gold standard was done and the results were not good.

Industries in Virginia would have to purchase raw materials from Europe using gold. It will cost the state ten times the price of a gold dollar to buy back that same gold dollar for re-circulation in Virginia, leading to the bankruptcy of the State of Virginia.

The State economy in Virginia would not be able to sustain a gold standard because it's too expensive.

The State House decided it would be cheaper to use the Mexican Peso because the economy in Virginia is smaller than the Mexican economy, giving the Mexican Peso a desired value for Virginians.

The gold standard is a system under which a country ties the value of its currency to gold, setting a fixed price at which gold can be bought or sold by the government, but it would be at the mercy of country's economy.

"We're not going to be printing money with Dave Matthews or Jeff Davis on the front of it," Marshall said, referring to two famous Virginians.

Virginia should be armed with an alternative currency in case it comes under a cyber attack. Many of Marshall's arguments are similar to ones made by the defunct Tea Party.

Marshall has an ingenious plan of sending Virginians into other States to panhandle, so they can bring back thousands of dollars in pocket change which could be exchanged for Mexican Pesos.

A Virginian will have to pay 50 Mexican Pesos for a cup of coffee in New York City and 100 Mexican Pesos for a McDonald's value meal.

Every economy around the world functions under the basic element of "buy" and "sell." In communist countries they use the same element in a different form which is "produce" and "consume." World economies always sit on this balancing scale, where either people don't buy too much, or they don't sell too much. The scale is always tipping from one side to the next causing economic changes.

Using gold to guarantee paper currency wouldn't work either because it would stall Virginia's economy when businesses and workers refuse to spend paper money because of it's high value. This forces business to offer low quality goods at cheaper prices to gain more profits. This will then force everyone in Virginia to spend their money in foreign countries to get access to better quality goods at lower prices.

To purchase their paper money back from the currency market, Virginia will need to have a gross state product bigger than the gross national product and that is physically impossible.

Storing more gold and printing more money with a more productive economy won't help because State inflation will increase, scaring people into not spending money in Virginia. People will be encouraged to use their money to purchase cheaper priced products that are higher in quality from foreign countries because of the higher value of their paper currency.

This will drive the Virginia economy into bankruptcy when there is less paper money circulating in Virginia and it cost more to purchase the paper money back from the currency market.

Printing more money without good gold reserves won't help because this will deplete the value of the paper currency and foreign countries will start to demand payment in gold that Virginia won't have, driving the State into bankruptcy again. A countries economy is what gives paper money it's value.

The only solution is to stay with the American dollar and to produce viable industries in Virginia that can sell to foreign countries and to other states. This will increase employment for Virginians which will produce a healthy economy that can provide the State government in Virginia with fresh tax revenues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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