Minnesota Misguidedly Manufactures Misleading Mexican Meals Making Millions Mad

Funny story: Minnesota Misguidedly Manufactures Misleading Mexican Meals Making Millions Mad

I recently bought a burrito and was astounded to see that it was made in the fair city of Minneapolis, a surprise since I had always thought of Minneapolis as being a place so white that it's nickname is 'The Wonder Bread Capital of America'. Burritos are about as native to Minnesota as fish are to the moon. What comes next? Does my chop suey start getting shipped in from Tel Aviv? How is it th...

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Pancake Day is crêpe for Palace tossers

Funny story: Pancake Day is crêpe for Palace tossers

London - Chefs at HM's royal kitchens have been left with egg on their faces following complaints they'd fed horseflesh to State Banquet dignitaries. Rollo Foie-Gras and Guido Mascarpone are in for a roasting at a Shrove Tuesday disciplinary heari...

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The Definitive Ten Point Guide To Stumbling Through Life Without Major Distress

Funny story: The Definitive Ten Point Guide To Stumbling Through Life Without Major Distress

1)Stop exercising it's making you ill. It gets in the way of drinking time, trash T.V. and arguing with your family. The lycra makes you look ridiculous. Elasticated waistbands aren't that bad. 2) Ditch the diet. For good. Your adult weight has gone from 120 to 160 pounds over the course of a year. Up and down like an out-of-control elevator. Accept that you're a fat bastard and get on with it.

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Traces of Cameron found in Brooks

Funny story: Traces of Cameron found in Brooks

Hot on the heels of the news of horse in beef burgers, horse in crab sticks, horse in sore throat lozenges and horse in lasagne, it now turns out that there are traces of David Cameron in Rebekah Brooks. "We were as shocked as anybody," said lead...

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Heaven in Administration as Pope Resigns

Funny story: Heaven in Administration as Pope Resigns

It has been announced that the Pope is to resign, as the Afterlife proves it is not exempt from the global recession. God has called in the administrators and cutbacks are seen as inevitable. It is understood Pope Benedict offered his resignation...

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Dark Horse for the Vatican?

Funny story: Dark Horse for the Vatican?

Our Vatican insider has spoken of his shock and distress at Pope Benedict's resignation from the Papacy. Rumours are everywhere about why the Pope opted out. Was it his age or the threat of a new version of Revelations mixed with Sodom and Gomorra...

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Marco Rubio Advises Speaker of the House to "Stop Wearing Sombrero"

Florida senator Marco Rubio today told House Speaker John Boehner that wearing a sombrero was not a good way to attract Latino voters to the Republican party. "Frankly, I was a bit surprised when he showed up wearing it shortly after the electio...

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Pope Benedict Hands in his Papers After Stranger 'Kisses His Ring' Shocker

Funny story: Pope Benedict Hands in his Papers After Stranger 'Kisses His Ring' Shocker

The Vatican was shaken to its very foundations yesterday as Pope Benedict handed in his notice as Gods personal Rottweiler. 'Pope Daddy' as the top clergy all over the world call him, completely lost the plot as he finally broke under the strain of s...

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Volvo Wins "Best Key to Use to Pick Your Ear" Award

Funny story: Volvo Wins "Best Key to Use to Pick Your Ear" Award

For the third year in a row, a Volvo ignition key has won top honors in the "Best Key" category at the National Ear Pickers convention. Judges at this year's gathering in Nashville presented elated Volvo representatives with the coveted Golden E...

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New Jersey Man Applies For Vacant Pope Position

Funny story: New Jersey Man Applies For Vacant Pope Position

A New Jersey man could become the first ever American Pope after he completed an online application form for the vacant position which he saw advertised on monsterjobs.com. Eric Tisdale, 44, unemployed but a former butcher feels he is "in with a c...

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Pope Palpatine Benedict Resigns

Funny story: Pope Palpatine Benedict Resigns

Catholics everywhere have been shocked by the resignation of Pope Benedict. The Catholic Church are saddened that Pope Benedict is resigning and are hurt by his lack of commitment. One lady was heard whining, "I've been a good Catholic and have been to Mass every week, regularly attended confession, and have cooked fish every Friday as well as popping out a baby every year for the last twenty...

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Congress To Choose An American For Pope

Funny story: Congress To Choose An American For Pope

Washington, DC - Calling the health-related retirement of Pope Benedict XVI "a tragic opportunity," congressional leaders have declared that America will field a candidate in the upcoming election for the next pontiff. "It's a free world, isn't it...

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Adele Wears A Curtain To The Grammys

Funny story: Adele Wears A Curtain To The Grammys

Adele was panned by the fashion police for wearing what appeared to be a red, patterned curtain to the Grammy Award Ceremony. Poor Adele looked like a refugee from the Van Trapp family from the set of The Sound of Music. "It looked as if Julie Andrews had whipped up a dress from an old pair of curtains like she did for those Austrian kids when she was working as a nanny". One bitchy gay desig...

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Pope Benedict XVI: I'm Resigning, and No, I Will Not Be Appearing On Dancing With The Stars

Funny story: Pope Benedict XVI: I'm Resigning, and No, I Will Not Be Appearing On Dancing With The Stars

VATICAN - The Catholic world is shocked as word has just filtered out of the Vatican that Pope Benedict XVI is quitting. The pontiff is the first to step down since the middle ages, or as stand up comedian Zydeco Dupree said, back when Betty White...

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Bono announces intention to be the next Pope

Funny story: Bono announces intention to be the next Pope

Following the announcement that Pope Benedict the XVI will step down on the 28th of February Bono the lead singer of the band U2 has said that he would like to be the next Bishop of Rome. Popes are elected by a conclave of cardinals under the age...

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The Queen is next say Vatican psychics

Funny story: The Queen is next say Vatican psychics

Rome - The Pope's shock resignation 'is just a warm-up act' according to Vatican seers who predict Joseph Ratzinger's lawfully wedded spouse Queen Elizabeth is next. "It could happen any time this week," an Opus Dei tarot reader commented, "maybe...

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Prince Charles leaves newspaper stories about Benedict XVI's resignation outside Queen Elizabeth's room

Funny story: Prince Charles leaves newspaper stories about Benedict XVI's resignation outside Queen Elizabeth's room

LONDON, U.K.--Charles, Prince of Wales and heir to the British throne, left a number of newspaper articles about the sudden resignation of Pope Benedict XVI outside the bedchamber of his mother Queen Elizabeth II, sources inside Buckingham Palace rep...

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Much Younger Man Expected To Be Chosen To Become Next Pope!

Funny story: Much Younger Man Expected To Be Chosen To Become Next Pope!

This morning's announcement from the Vatican that 85 year old Pope Benedict XV1 is to stand down as leader of the Catholic church due to advancing years seems almost certain to mean the choice of a much younger replacement. Pope Benedict XV1's dec...

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Muslim Imam posing as Catholic Cardinal to become new Pope

The press is telling us that Pope Benedict XVI is resigning and an election will be held for a new Pope. However a spy who has infiltrated the Vatican had revealed that 120 Cardinals already elected a new Pope. His name is Cardinal Mohammed Hus...

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Matt Damon to Play Pope In New Hollywood Blockbuster

Funny story: Matt Damon to Play Pope In New Hollywood Blockbuster

Its official! Matt Damon is to play the outgoing Pope Benedict in a new Hollywood blockbuster being penned for release in 2014. Matt Damon a well known Bostonian Catholic from Boston, today spoke about his new role in press release which has got C...

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Astrologers blame the Pope's Cancer

Funny story: Astrologers blame the Pope's Cancer

Rome - Stargazers reviewing the Pope's birth chart said today a massive build up of freaky asteroids in his natal Cancer is probably behind this morning's resignation. Decades of space junk clashes in the crabby constellation had clearly worn down...

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Red Sox Luck Bound to Change or Your Money Back

Red Sox so far this season have been struck by lightning. As Jacoby Ellsbury and Dustin Pedroia flew into Fort Myers for their training time, the plane carrying them was struck by lightning. No one was hurt, but a good scare was had by all. Wha...

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New Pope will be from Africa

Funny story: New Pope will be from Africa

It was only a matter of time before it happened, but it appears that the next Pope will be Cardinal Peter Kodwo Appiah Turkson. Turkson, a high ranking member of the Ghanaian Catholic Church, will be the first black pope for fifteen hundred years, an...

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Boy Time Travelled To Gettysburg Address

Funny story: Boy Time Travelled To Gettysburg Address

A college professor from San Francisco has claimed that when he was an eleven year old boy he time travelled as part of Project Pegasus. The respectable forty nine year old man claimed that when he as a boy of eleven in 1974 he was involved in a top...

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The Grammy Awards Show - Kelly Clarkson Says Her Weight Gain Is Due To Happiness

Funny story: The Grammy Awards Show - Kelly Clarkson Says Her Weight Gain Is Due To Happiness

LOS ANGELES - LL Cool J hosted The 55th Annual Grammy Awards Show from The Staples Center in Los Angeles. At the start of the show he reminded everyone that CBS executives had issued a memorandum stating that they did not want any of the women pre...

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'Danger Close' asteroid may miss London

Funny story: 'Danger Close' asteroid may miss London

Astrologists have dismissed fears an asteroid due to strike into the Earth on Friday will 'destroy London' - but the Earth is going to have to roll with its punch. Astrologists say they are sure there is no chance of the 150ft (45.7m) wide space rock...

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Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Zac Efron To Star In Nemo The Blizzard

Funny story: Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Zac Efron To Star In Nemo The Blizzard

HOLLYWOOD - Executives for Lions Face Films have just informed the entertainment media that production will soon begin on the movie Nemo The Blizzard. The motion picture will be shot on location in Boston as soon as production crews can get to the...

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Canada Complains US Wind Farms Are Blowing Birds Over the Border

Funny story: Canada Complains US Wind Farms Are Blowing Birds Over the Border

Canadian officials today lodged a formal complaint with the US that wind turbines near the border are blowing too many birds across the border into Canada. Mervin Thackenschwartz, a Canadian government spokesman, complained that while most Canadians...

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State of emergency declared after hell freezes over...

Funny story: State of emergency declared after hell freezes over...

Hell was struggling to return to normal just days after a massive storm dumped more than 3 feet of snow in much of the area. By early Sunday evening, reported power outages numbered fewer than 2,800, down from as many as 2,801 a day earlier. Most...

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