America Prevails Again
A local Islamic man who recently arrived from Islam came to America carrying big dreams of spreading Sharia Law to all the four corners of the circular Earth. Upon arriving in America, he immediately set about destroying such principles as religi...
Read full storyEnraged Senators Schumer, Cruz Come Close to Blows on Senate Floor
WASHINGTON (AP) - On the eve of the massacre of children at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newton, The National Rifle Association won another victory. The victory shows the enormous power and control of the association over obedient members of the U.S. Se...
Read full storyMichelle's got the hump over Danish peroxide bimbo Prime Minister
Soweto, South Africa - It was a 'right you bastard, that's the last time I ever swallow!' look on the First Lady's face during the Mandela Memorial Gig eulogies in South Africa today. Sitting in the top VIP seating next to her husband Michelle sud...
Read full storyChinese Trying To Embarrass U.S., Russia, Japan!
For many years now the leaders of China have had to use a low profile whenever international incidents came into play but now that they are out-producing the other leading nations and into the space industry, they are 'feeling their oats' as some wou...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Quits Music
Miley Cyrus, after receiving over 10,000 cards and letter 99% against her recent appearance on MTV, has decided to quit music, at least for now. Apparently, some 35 of her fan groups have split up also and are now looking for another in singing or...
Read full storyGeneral Motors appoint female CEO! She once was a back-seat-driver!
Ex back-seat-driver, Mary Barra, has moved forward and been appointed the first ever CEO of a major car producing company; General Motors not General Kitchen sinks! Henry Ford has just been heard turning in a Ford Mondeo grave and matcho Mercede...
Read full storyPhil Spector thinks he is playing Al Pacino in California State Prison Movie
Phil Spector, the musical genius behind hundreds of popular songs was only pursuaded to go to Gaol because he was tricked into thinking he was playing Al Pacino in "The Godfather", a cellmate said this morning. Phil, in reality serving 19 to life...
Read full storyTwo Big Meteors Are Actually Space Ships!
Scientists say that what they thought, and what these ships thought we would think, were meteors, are actually spaceships. "Undoubtedly they are from another planet or might even be a combination US/Russia deal where they try to unite the countri...
Read full storyIsle of Wight Going Chinese
In a dramatic move to gain the approval of the Chinese Government, David Cameron is offering the Isle of Wight at 'a knock down price' to China. We understand that several million pounds are being diverted to the Conservative Election Campaign fun...
Read full storyAnswers to correspondents
Q. Sir. In the 1966 World Cup final, Helmut Haller put West Germany ahead after 12 minutes. I noticed that in an episode of Fawlty Towers, Basil, with a bandage on his head is being rude to a table of very pleasant mannered Germans. On the credits I noticed the name of Helmut Haller. Is this the same Helmut Haller who scored the goal for West Germany? Colonel Blink (Chipping Norton).
Read full storyPopular T.V. sports reporter signs autographs and gives match comments in Prison
Stuart Hall is settling in well among the "Beasts" at Wymott prison. The brilliant football commentator is in great demand as a free soccer expert during televised football. Hall, a great raconteur and astute MC for all events says he is as happy as...
Read full storyLarry King Buys A Viagra Factory
NEW YORK CITY - Larry King, co-host of The Viagra View, has just revealed that he's purchased a Viagra factory located in Altoona, Pennsylvania. The 80-year-old stated that he had been thinking about purchasing a Viagra factory for the past three...
Read full storyNew York Crime Boss Salvatore Goombalini Donates $1 Million For A Nelson Mandela Statue To Be Placed In Central Park
NEW YORK CITY - Regis Philbin, co-host of The Viagra View said that he has received a text message from the head of New York City's largest crime family Salvatore Goombalini. Sal The Pal as he is known in the mob world stated that he had nothing b...
Read full storyTwo Captured Terrorists Spill The Beans On The Al Qaeda Organization
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FBI has stated that the two Al Qaeda terrorists who were captured in Paducah, Kentucky two weeks ago have offered up a wealth of information on the Al Qaeda organization. An FBI agent who did not want his name revealed state...
Read full storyJay Leno Buys A Wyoming Woman's Volkswagen Beetle With 3 Million Miles On It
BURBANK, California - Jay Leno has one of the most extensive automobile and motorcycle collections in the world. He is said to own over 100 vehicles and 90 motorcycles most of them very expensive. Leno recently heard about 61-year-old Rayleen...
Read full storyChina Is Outsourcing Its Fortune Cookie Business To The United States
HONG KONG, China - The Chinese Republic has just issued a news statement that it has worked out a deal with the United States. The deal calls for the USA to take over the production of 92 percent of China's fortune cookie manufacturing. China's...
Read full storyMadonna cast in biggest acting role of her life, pretending she's still relevant
London, England - Acclaimed baby collector Madonna has released a statement via fax about her upcoming movie role, she will be playing an aging pop-star via twitter. While the plot of the film remains unclear, Madonna will be director, producer, acto...
Read full storyHillary Clinton Has Butt Lift - It's Not What You Think!
Instead of having to go have those bullets that were still in her body after that close call in the Middle East where she landed her helicopter right into the midst of a fire fight, $tar$ Magazine has learned that Hillary is actually in for a major b...
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