'William Vague… You Cannot Be Syrius!' The Letter 'Y' to be removed from the Alphabet.
Once again the world looked on in horror at the humanitarian crisis unfolding in the Middle East, not in Egypt, not in Libya but this time, in Syria. The UK Foreign Secretary William Vague, today made a harsh statement condemning all three countries...
Read full storyLeaked plans for Nintendo to release a 1DS soon after release of 2DS
After the recently announced launch of the 2DS, Nintendo of America plans to release a version with a one-dimensional screen. These plans were leaked by George Simms, a janitor in the main offices. "Gamers are finding beauty in simplicity now." i...
Read full storyDrone strikes on Syria as NewsCorpse corruption trial promises to hog headlines
Washington AC/DC - A strategic dismantling of Bash-Ear Assad's formidable war machine might just do it as shady Rupert Murdoch stuff threatens to eclipse the global agenda when ex-NewsCorpse babe Rebekah Brooks goes on trial. At stake is the disti...
Read full storyCommuters flee rush-hour file
Passengers fled on to tracks after a box file burst open on a train during rush hour yesterday in central London. The file contained dozens of lengthy, boring business reports and detailed minutes of interminable committee meetings. Some passen...
Read full storyRupert al-Murdock to Launch Al Foxeera
Rupert al-Murdock today announced his newest venture in cable news--a network he is calling Al Foxeera. Al-Murdock is naming Roger Al-Ailes, who is currently president of FOX News, to head up the media venture. Said Al-Murdock: "We hope to pre...
Read full storyLone Star State Just Got Lonelier
Texas- Last night under the cover of darkness, the entire city of Austin slipped out of the state. Hank Perkins, a resident of the nearby town of Waco said he thought he heard something, but decided to wait until the morning to investigate. "W...
Read full storyNBC Tells Syria That Cruise Missile Strike Will Occur at Assad's Palace in Damascus on Thursday @ 5:00 EDT
NEW YORK, NY - NBC CEO and Obama Spokesman, Stephen B. Burke, announced today that the U.S. will hit President Assad's palace in Damascus with multiple cruise missiles on Thursday, August 29 at 5:00 pm EDT and will continue for three days. The Sta...
Read full storyGerman Auto Maker Bercedes-Menz Embraces Web Connectivity
STUTTGART, GERMANY - German luxury car marker Bercedes-Menz is jumping on the internet in a big way. MB Company spokesman, Peter Schwanz, announced today that Bercedes-Menz's next "C Class" will offer basic internet connectivity, including Pandora...
Read full storyLightning Strikes Montana Man For The 8th Time
MISSOULA, Montana - A ranch fence mender from Missoula, Montana has to be the luckiest man in the entire world. Guggenheim "Sparky" St. Parrot, has the distinction of having been struck by lightning a total of eight times. St. Parrot works mend...
Read full storyHoney Boo Boo Named Cutest Girl In Georgia
ATLANTA - The star of the television reality series, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Alana Thompson has just received another of her many beauty pageant awards. The little girl from McIntyre, Georgia who turned 8, on August 28, 2013, entered the Cutest...
Read full storyPresident Obama Picks The Two Teams He Says Will Meet In Super Bowl XLVIII
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama says he likes nothing better than going out on a limb as he gave his predictions as to which two NFL teams he thinks will be participating in next year's Super Bowl XLVIII. The president spoke with Zorro La Bamba...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Wants To Buy An Apartment In Manhattan
MANHATTAN - One of the most popular real estate agents in New York City is reporting that she received a call from North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. Paige Dragonhollow, 29, with The Luxury Apartments 'R' Us Realty Company said that Mr. Jong Un expr...
Read full storyDolly Parton Says Nicki Minaj Needs To Throw All Of Her Makeup In The Trash Can
WATERLOO, Iowa - Dolly Parton at 67, showed everyone that she can still bring 'em in as she performed before a sold-out concert at The Crop Rotation Convention Center in Waterloo. Parton sang all of her big hits from "Appalachian Memories" to "You...
Read full storyMajor League Baseball May Start Prosecuting PED Violators
NEW YORK CITY - Major League Baseball is embarrassed at the black eye that it has received due to some of its players using performance enhancing drugs in order to gain an unfair advantage in the country's national pastime. Monroe "Knuckleball" Sa...
Read full storyVice-President Joe Biden To Open Up A Burger Restaurant
DOVER, Delaware - It is no secret that President Obama and Vice-President Biden both love hamburgers. Vice-President Biden has just announced that he will be opening up a hamburger joint in his home state in a few months. Biden's Burgers should...
Read full storyOceanic Scientists Report That Someone Has Stolen One Of The Titanic's Smokestacks
NEW YORK CITY - A team of five American oceanic scientists have just reported that one of the four Titanic smokestacks is missing. The ship, which hit an iceberg and sank on April 14, 1912, is resting at a depth of 12,600 feet on the Atlantic Ocea...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus' Parents Are Both Extremely Embarrassed Regarding The Short Shorts She Wore On Stage At The MTV MVA Show
LOS ANGELES - Billy Ray Cyrus is one very unhappy daddy as he cannot believe the dance number his daughter Miley performed at the recent Music Television Music Video Awards Show. The former country singer said that he felt so ashamed of his daught...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Spotted Eating A Double Pepperoni Pizza
DETROIT - Michelle Obama who is noted for preaching that school kids need to eat a nutritious meal and stop eating junk food was photographed at an elementary school in Detroit - eating a double pepperoni pizza. The news media had been told before...
Read full storyHouston Astros Have The Worst Record In Baseball
HOUSTON - The Houston Astros are not only at the bottom of the American League West Division, they are also at the bottom of the entire 30 teams in Major League Baseball. The Astros are struggling with a record of 44-87. And many of their loyal fa...
Read full storyKhloe Kardashian's Husband Lamar Odom Blames His Womanizing On An Addiction To Oysters
HOLLYWOOD - Lamar Odom is now saying that the reason for his wandering ways is totally due to a food addiction. Odom appeared on The Viagra View and he told Larry King that ever since he had an order of Oysters On The Half Shell down at The Viciou...
Read full storyEight Crazy, Dangerous, Nutcase Numbskulls Who Deserve Stoning
In recent days, weeks, and months, there have been some outrageous displays of total insanity, stupidity, arrogance, fraud, and even murder and mass murder, bringing back the need for throwing rocks at people. Just like in Biblical times. None of these events or people are funny. They're very unfunny. And although we can't actually throw rocks at others, dark satire's always been a good way to sli...
Read full storyObama is pushing for a police force to enforce "green" behavior and also increase fines for non-compliance
In a rather controversial endorsement of these new measures, government plans to enforce "green" behavior and increase fines for non-compliance has got some people talking. Susan McDonald says: "It will really make me think about those times I ha...
Read full storyArsene Wenger spotted with chequebook out
The news that we've been waiting all summer for finally happened last night. Not the birth of Royal baby George, or Gareth Bale joining Madrid, but at 8.34pm in the 'Going Loco-local' supermarket on Holloway High St, under fire Arsenal manager Arsene...
Read full storyParliament recalled to deal with Arsenal transfer crisis
David Cameroon cut short his holiday last night to fly home and deal with the impending Premier League transfer crisis. 'Call Me Dave' and Sam-cam were topping up their tan on their fifteenth mini-break of the year, staying on the recently renamed...
Read full storyNJ Attorney General Investigating Donald Trump's Hair University
TRENTON-New Jersey officials have confirmed that Donald Trump's Hair University is under investigation for false claims and overcharging students for worthless information. Today's announcement follows New York's lawsuit against Trump for similar fa...
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