NEW YORK, NY - NBC CEO and Obama Spokesman, Stephen B. Burke, announced today that the U.S. will hit President Assad's palace in Damascus with multiple cruise missiles on Thursday, August 29 at 5:00 pm EDT and will continue for three days.
The State Department fed the information to NBC, saying that while the U.S. intelligence community would release a formal decision today, it was already "crystal clear" that a decision has already been made.
Spokesman for Syrian President Assad, Mustaf Herod Apyur Poupr, responded by thanking NBC and announcing that President Assad has moved to a secret location outside of Damascus.
