Make Your Own Spanking Paddle, by Martha Stewart

Funny story: Make Your Own Spanking Paddle, by Martha Stewart

"Spanking paddles never go out of style," the lifestyle guru/author/media mogul/caterer/felon Martha Stewart stated during a recent appearance on the set of Bravo's Watch What Happens Live. "Handy, useful and easy to store under the bed, the spanking paddle is so easy to make that even children can make one!" Martha enthused as she lined up the materials needed for the demonstration. "I prefer...

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Cherie's rapture as daughter Kate Middleton claims 'Occupation: Princess' on baby's birth certificate

Funny story: Cherie's rapture as daughter Kate Middleton claims 'Occupation: Princess' on baby's birth certificate

London - The dirty old Scouser's gargantuan social climbing ambitions are orgasming deliriously at her Italian mobster daughter Kate Middleton's latest scam. Asked to describe her occupation on Baby Prince George Bush's birth certificate the daft...

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Playboy Playmates

In The Secret of Wealth and Happiness, Hu Humpher, under the pen name Hugh Hefner, founder of Playboy magazine, explains what led to his success: the Playboy Playmate. For anyone who may be visiting from another planet, a Playboy Playmate is a full-color, glossy, airbrushed photograph of a nude woman with a staple through at least one portion (and usually two) of her anatomy. She is also someti...

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Snowden granted asylum in attempt to stop leaks

Mount Snowden is to be fenced off for two years in a secure sanctuary while attempts are made to stop it leaking. It will be allowed to remain in its own territory - undisturbed by visitors. Earlier this year the notorious Welsh mountain started t...

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Anthony's Weiner to Leave Him for Another Man

Funny story: Anthony's Weiner to Leave Him for Another Man

NEW YORK, NY - Mayoral Candidate Anthony's Weiner has issued a press release stating "I am sick and tired of working for a dick bigger than me." He added "I will be seeking out a man who is a much smaller dick than Weiner, such as Dick Cheney, Dick B...

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Spoof journalist falls foul of NSA spooks

Funny story: Spoof journalist falls foul of NSA spooks

Following reports in Thursday's Guardian, Spoof journalist Paxton Quigley was shocked to discover that he had become a victim of US security surveillance officers. He spoke to a colleague on the newsdesk about his experience and we are now exposing...

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Joan Collins Partridge Family orgy claim 'probably just a grouse started by one of the Bushes'

Funny story: Joan Collins Partridge Family orgy claim 'probably just a grouse started by one of the Bushes'

New York - A vile slur that Joan Collins propositioned a star of the Partridge Family TV sitcom to 'take part in an orgy' has been deleted from an autobiography amid new evidence of Bush family tongue-in-cheek mischief. Shirley Jones, who played t...

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Bigfoot and I: Are we off to 'American Idol'?

Funny story: Bigfoot and I: Are we off to 'American Idol'?

1. "Bigfoots," the thing said. "That's the formal, plural, grammatically correct term you should always use regarding my species. We're Gigantapithicus apes. That's our scientific name, but you should never, ever, ever say 'Bigfeets.'" I was really surprised that Bigfoot could talk. He spoke crystal clear English and had perfect diction, too. "Too many people come out here looking for...

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Children's TV Weirdo with fetish caught

Gary O'Blimey with a strange urination fetish was caught, thanks to an eagle-eyed children's TV viewer. Mr O'Blimey liked to barge into a ladies toilets around Stoke-on-Trent, whereby he would attempt to urinate between the victim's legs, whilst t...

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Flyanair plan to tax souls

Flyanair are scratching around, wondering what to tax next. Some brainbox in their monolith Dublin bunker, has come up with the bright idea that all souls travelling on the said airline, will be taxed for being alive. There are discussions whethe...

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