Bookies' odds on Jimmy Savile case - place bets now!
Bookmakers throughout Britain have opened a book on the investigation into the Jimmy Savile affair. They are offering odds on the following. (1) Investigation will plod along until the media are ordered from on high to dumb it down out of existence and to "pursue it no further" blah, blah, blah and it simply disappears as the public are lulled back into televisual narcosis. 3/1 (2) Invest...
Read full storyDisney buy Lucasfilm
Disney have bought Lucasfilm from founder George Lucas for $4.2bn. The firm is most famous for producing the 'Stars Wars' films as well as providing special effects for other companies. Disney are to produce two more 'Star Wars' over the next 18 m...
Read full storyRomney: Obama Unfairly Presidential In Dealing With Hurricane
KETTERING, OH; Oct. 30, 2012 -- While former governor Mitt Romney and President Barack Obama have agreed to suspend campaigning activities in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, Romney is accusing Obama of not honoring the agreement, claiming that Obama's b...
Read full storyDominatrix in Frankfurt, Germany, claims world whipping record!
An infamous ageing Dominatrix in Frankfurt, Germany, has been entered into the Guiness book of records after beating the world's whipping record by fifty lashes and then she dropped dead! The previous record was 500000 lashes in 5 days held by US...
Read full storyGOP: "Keep your filthy gobmint hands off disaster relief!"
Reince Priebus, chairman of the GOP issued a joint statement this morning with members of the Tea Party caucus in Congress. It reads in part: "Get your filthy gobmint hands off disaster relief. The only members not signing the declaration were those...
Read full storyHurricane Sandy Huffs and Puffs at Gronk
Hurricane Sandy took down many houses and trees around the Northeast. If there was one symbol still standing after the huffing and puffing of a diabolical storm, it was the New England Patriot Rob Gronkowski. Try as it might, Gronk stood up to...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Ordered Into Rehab Due To Her Hurricane Sandy Remark
VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan has just joined the ranks of individuals such as Gilbert Gottfried, Jeff Ross, Tracy Morgan, and Dane Clark who have all been guilty of sticking their feet in their mouth. Lohan does have the distinction of being the o...
Read full story'Ghostbusters' hit squad sweeps Palace for Halloween
London - "Just checking HM's knickers for paranormal activity," a parapsychologist from the Met's 'Ghostbuster' unit commented, "hopefully there'll be no Jimmy Savile hexoplasm down those murky depths!" The Buckingham Palace sweep has been ordered...
Read full storyUS reality TV star denies sex tape with Jimmy Savile
A US reality TV star - who we are unable to name for legal reasons - today furiously denied she is the dark haired star in a new sex tape released on the internet. The big butted star with hundreds of sisters who shot to fame in the mid noughties...
Read full storyPolice closing in on Jimmy Savile
Police investigating mounting sex abuse claims against the former radio DJ and tv presenter Jimmy Savile believe they are ready to make an arrest in the next 24 hours. Since a documentary on ITV at the beginning of October, hundreds of allegations...
Read full storyImmense Negativity Generated By Presidential Election Creates Huge Psychic Vortex Headed For Washington
The generated heat created by battle between the two rivaling political parties vying for the U.S. Presidency has unleashed unforeseen consequences. The constant turbulence from partisan hatred, scandalous accusations, frictional debate and just pla...
Read full storySandy Blows; Gov. Christie Drops to his Knees
Apparently Donald Trump had $5 million burning a hole in his pocket. After being rebuffed and ridiculed by President Barack Obama following the megalomaniac's attempt to make him his hired stooge, the buffoonish billionaire tried the same idioti...
Read full storyWIN a Chance to Play in a Merseyside Derby Winner - Andre Wisdom
Congratulations to Andre Wisdom, the winner of our competition to play in a real Merseyside Derby. Andre chose to play at right-back for Liverpool. The 19-year-old heard about our competition through a kids' football magazine, and jumped at the chance to enter. 'It has been a dream throughout my childhood to play for Manchester United. i saw the chance to play for Liverpool and decided to settl...
Read full storyObama Run out of Town; plummets to 28% in polls
President Barack Obama (S-Kenya) was dealt a double dose of dismal news today that began when a superpack of angry locals in Swingset, Virginia, chased his advance ground crew out of town as they were preparing for a rally scheduled later that aftern...
Read full storyGary Glitter admits where he has been hiding
Paul Gadd, also known as Gary Glitter, has been forced to reveal in court where he has been hiding for the past few years. "We were very surprised to discover that Paul has been hiding out in a camp site near Oldham living as a woman," said solici...
Read full storyDuck Tape Measures the Celtics Resolve to Win This Year
Duct tape saved Apollo 13 and now must save the 2013 Celtics. Donnie Darko Milicic said his weak wrist not only has been weak for a week, but that he will use more tape to save himself for the season. Little known to fans is that the Celtics re...
Read full storyThe Hell's Angels Are Voting For President Obama
VENICE BEACH - In a move that took the Mitt Romney political campaign team by surprise, the national chapter of The Hell's Angels Motorcycle Gang has stated that they will all be voting for President Obama. Hells Angels spokesperson Rufus "Spokes"...
Read full storyHoney Boo Boo's Gay Uncle Poodle To Get His Own Reality Show
McINTYRE, Georgia - It had to happen sooner or later. The TLC reality show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo will be giving birth to a spinoff. According to a network spokesperson, the new show will feature the uncle of Honey Boo Boo, Marvin Lee Thompson.
Read full storyMohammed wins the Nobel Peace Prize
STOCKHOLM- Mohammed, the prophet of the world's 1.6 billion muslims was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize* today, after the European Union refused it, and so it automatically went to the runner-up. As the founder of the "religion of islam" which means...
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